Groucho had the best one-liners than just about anyone else.
“Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member”
“I was married by a judge… I should have asked for a jury”
“A man’s only as old as the woman he feels”
“As soon as I get through with you, you’ll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife
“I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife”
“Women should be obscene not heard”
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce”
“Marriage is a wonderful institution but who wants to live in an institution?”
“Those are my principles If you don’t like them I have more”
“You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it ”
“Who are you going to believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?”
“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse”
“Remember men, you are fighting for this lady’s honor; which is probably more than she ever did”
“Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I’ll never know”
“I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty”





























