Rock Managers

An abbreviated look at some of the top managers in music.

 

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Brian Epstein – Beatles

With no experience, he took the rough young Beatles and made them bigger than Elvis. That was considered impossible before he did it. No one from England ever made it in America…he would change all of that. Some people complained that he cleaned the Beatles up too much but that is the only way they would have been accepted in America.

They opened the doors for all the other British acts to follow. Brian cared about the Beatles and it wasn’t all about the money. He made a few bad deals but he was in uncharted territory. I would take Brian over anyone in this list.

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Peter Grant –  Led Zeppelin

Peter was big, impressive, and intimidating. He was a former wrestler who would resort to violence if necessary. He changed the business of touring to favor the artist. He demanded 90% of the gate money which that was unheard of at the time.

He fiercely protected their music. Going to record stores and demanding if any bootleg albums or merchandise was there to hand it over. At concerts, he would douse water over recording equipment of bootleggers. Peter was loyal to Led Zeppelin and that cannot be denied.

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Albert Grossman – Bob Dylan – The Band – Janis Joplin

He was not liked in the folk community. He was all about commercial success for his artists and the folk fans called him Breadhead…Only in it for the money.  Albert protected Bob and helped him to succeed. After Bob, he went on to manage the Band and Janis Joplin.

He built a mini-empire in Bearsville, NY. A recording studio, restaurants, and houses.

This is what Bob Dylan said about his first meeting with Grossman.

 “He looked like Sydney Greenstreet from the film The Maltese Falcon, had an enormous presence, always dressed in a conventional suit and tie, and he sat at his corner table. Usually when he talked, his voice was loud like the booming of war drums. He didn’t talk so much as growl.”

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Colonel Tom Parker – Elvis

The Colonel previously worked at carnivals and described Elvis as his “attraction.” He took an incredible 50% of Elvis’s earnings during his career and after his death. Elvis never toured internationally and some say it was because Parker was an illegal immigrant in the U.S. from the Netherlands, lacked a passport and never became a naturalized U.S. citizen.

No one can say that the Colonel didn’t make Elvis money but he controlled everything in Elvis’s life. He planned the Army induction, movies, and then the comeback in Las Vegas. In the end, he kept an unhealthy Elvis working while he accumulated huge gambling debts.

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Kit Lambert – The Who

A flamboyant man with partner Chris Stamp managed the Who until the early seventies. Kit help shape their sound and image. Pete Townshend relied on him as an idea person. He helped Pete form the Tommy album as a rock opera and produced it as well.

Townshend has always maintained how important Kit was in his early songwriting. Lambert and Stamp were not great managers but they worked outside the box which is what the Who needed at the time.

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Allen Klein – The Stones and Beatles

Allen was a master at negotiating contracts. He had the two biggest bands in the world and wanted the Who in the 70s…but Pete Townshend knew his reputation and dodged his control. He negotiated the Stones and Beatles huge record deals but also ended up owning the rights to the Stones early catalog.

Later with the Beatles John, George and Ringo wanted Klein as their manager but Paul wanted his father in law Lee Eastman. The rest thought he would be biased on toward Paul. The other Beatles signed with Klein but Paul wisely did not sign.

John, George, and Ringo eventually soured on Allen Klein after many questionable actions by Klein. It took years to untangle the mess he made.

Quote from George on Allen Klein.

 “Because we were all from Liverpool, we favored people who were street people,” he said. “Lee Eastman was more like a class-conscious type of person. As John was going with Klein, it was much easier if we went with him too.” But he also noted that “years later, we formed a different opinion.”

 

 

 

 

Rolling Stones – Before They Make Me Run

  • A great “Keith” song on the great Stone’s album Some Girls released in 1978. Some of the lyrics make me laugh because of how honest they are. Maybe one of the best lines in Rock “I wasn’t looking too good but I was feeling real well”… It doesn’t get much more straightforward than that.
  • Some of the others are not so fun such as “Booze and pills and powders, you can choose your medicine, Well here’s another goodbye to another good friend.” In the world where Keith was living, it rang true. I’ve read this line was about Keith’s good friend Gram Parsons who had died of a heroin overdose in 1973.

Keith recorded this song in 1978, a year after he was busted for heroin in Canada.

This and Happy are my favorite Keith Richards songs with the Stones. You Got the Silver is up there also.

Great raw Rock and Roll song.

Glyn Johns: Sound Man

I read this book not knowing what to expect but I did know of Glyn Johns… so many of my albums had his name on it…A name that is known throughout the music industry as a great recording engineer, producer, and mixer. Glyn has worked with huge rock groups such as The Rolling Stones, Beatles, Who, Small Faces, Led Zeppelin, The Band and more.

Glyn is a no-nonsense guy and unlike most of the autobiographies of musicians in that era, he never did drugs and always did his job well. Glyn wanted to be a singer and did make a few records, he covered Rolling Stones Lady Jane,  but he stuck with engineering and gradually became a producer.

Back when Glyn started in the early sixties engineers did not graduate to producing. It was very much a British class system in the music industry. He became the first freelance engineer in the industry because of the clients he attracted. He was one of the first to record the Stones and he began a relationship with them that lasted for years. He knew the Stones because he was really good friends with Ian Stewart and even shared a flat with him.

The Beatles called him to engineer Let It Be and he also helped engineer some of Abbey Road. He worked on Led Zeppelin’s first album. He produced Steve Miller’s first albums and also the first couple of Eagles albums.

This book will be very interesting to classic rock fans. Many anecdotes about the Stones, Beatles, Who and others. Glyn minces no words and has a reputation for saying what is on his mind. He isn’t too technical about recording in the book, he keeps it at a fast enjoyable pace.

He worked on some of the most classic albums ever. The Stones 60’s albums and the classic stretch of albums the Stones released until Black and Blue. He worked on Who’s Next, Quadrophenia, Led Zeppelin, A Nod Is As Good As a Wink… to a Blind Horse, Who Are You, Slowhand, just to name a few.

One interesting thing that happened in 1969. Glyn met Bob Dylan and Dylan told Johns that he would like to make an album with the Beatles and Stones. Glyn went back to England very excited and told Keith Richards and George Harrison and they were all for it. Ringo, Charlie, and Bill said they would do it. John didn’t say no but Mick and Paul said absolutely not…leaves you to wonder what it would have sounded like…

At the bottom of the page, I copied his discography from Wikipedia…it is incredible.

Excerpt from Sound Man about the Stones.

While Keith, Charlie, and Bill drove the band rhythmically, Mick’s energy and intellect drove everything else. I was constantly amazed by his skill as a songwriter and by the extraordinary energy he managed to summon for his vocal performances in the studio.
Both Mick and Keith would take an active part in the mixing process and drove me nuts making me mix a track for hours when I felt I had got it in the first couple of passes. We certainly did not always agree. I guess it would have been even more boring if we had. There were a couple of occasions when finally putting the album together I would play back earlier mixes that I had done on my own, to compare with the one they had chosen after hours of farting around, and in the cold light of day they would agree that mine were better. Equally, there were many occasions when they insisted on me changing a mix quite drastically from the way I heard it, with great effect.
Working with the Stones for all those years certainly had some amazing moments and I am proud to have been associated with them during a period of time when their music was so influential. However, Charlie summed it up perfectly when asked in a recent interview his experience of being in the band for fifty years. He replied, “Ten years of working and forty years of hanging around.”

Excerpt about The Beatles Let It Be

I had been retained originally as an engineer and was quite happy with that, even when I realized that George Martin was not producing. He did come to Twickenham a couple of times to check us out. He had arranged for the gear to be loaned for the recording at Savile Row and turned up on the day we did the filming on the roof, but had nothing to do with the production of the music. At the outset I was quite embarrassed when I realized he was not going to be involved. A couple of days into the project I asked Paul where George Martin was, only to be told that they had decided not to use him. By the time we moved to Savile Row, George, realizing I was in an awkward position, was kind enough to take me to lunch in order to put my mind at rest, saying I was doing a great job, everything was fine, and I was not stepping on his toes in any way. What a gentleman he is.
Having delivered the mixed master of my version of Let It Be, I approached each member of the band separately, asking if I could have a production credit on the album when it was released. I made it quite clear that I was only asking for that and not a royalty. Paul, George, and Ringo had no objection to my request but John was suspicious and could not understand why I was not asking for a royalty. I explained that I felt, because of their stature, the sales of the album would not be affected by my involvement one way or another, so a credit would be a fair settlement for what I had done, as by association it could only be positive for my career in the future. I never got an answer from John.
As it turned out, none of this mattered, as in the end, after the group broke up, John gave the tapes to Phil Spector, who puked all over them, turning the album into the most syrupy load of bullshit I have ever heard. My master tape, perhaps quite rightly, ended up on a shelf in the tape store at EMI. At least my version of the single of “Get Back”/“Don’t Let Me Down” had been released in April 1969.

Below is Glyn’s discography…what a body of work.

Artist Year Album Producer Engineer Mixing
Georgie Fame 1964 Rhythm and Blues at the Flamingo Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1965 December’s Children co-eng.Yes co-mix.Yes
The Pretty Things 1965 Get the Picture? co-prod.Yes Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1965 Out of Our Heads co-eng.Yes co-mix.Yes
The Rolling Stones 1966 Aftermath co-eng.Yes co-mix.Yes
The Rolling Stones 1966 Got Live if You Want It! Yes Yes
Chris Farlowe 1966 The Art of Chris Farlowe Yes Yes
The Small Faces 1966 Small Faces (Decca) Yes Yes
Chris Farlowe 1966 14 Things to Think About Yes Yes
Twice as Much 1966 Own Up Yes Yes
The Small Faces 1967 From the Beginning Yes Yes
Rolling Stones 1967 Between the Buttons Yes Yes
The Small Faces 1967 Small Faces (Immediate) Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1967 Flowers co-eng.Yes co-mix.Yes
The Rolling Stones 1967 Their Satanic Majesties Request Yes Yes
Johnny Hallyday 1967 San Francisco (EP) Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1968 Beggars Banquet Yes Yes
The Steve Miller Band 1968 Children of the Future Yes Yes Yes
Twice as Much 1968 That’s All Yes
The Pentangle 1968 The Pentangle Yes Yes
The Move 1968 Something Else from the Move Yes Yes
Spooky Tooth 1968 It’s All About Yes Yes
The Small Faces 1968 Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake Yes Yes
The Steve Miller Band 1968 Sailor Yes Yes Yes
Gerry Temple 1968 Burn Up! Yes
Procol Harum 1968 Shine on Brightly Yes Yes
The Move 1968 The Move Yes Yes
Easybeats 1968 Vigil Yes Yes
Traffic 1968 Traffic Yes Yes
Billy Nichols 1968 Would You Believe Yes Yes
The Steve Miller Band 1969 Brave New World Yes Yes Yes
Family 1969 Family Entertainment Yes Yes Yes
The End 1969 Introspection Yes Yes
The Beatles 1969 Abbey Road Yes
Joe Cocker 1969 Joe Cocker! Yes Yes
Johnny Hallyday 1969 Johnny Hallyday Yes Yes Yes
Led Zeppelin 1969 Led Zeppelin Yes
The Rolling Stones 1969 Let it Bleed Yes Yes
The Steve Miller Band 1969 Your Saving Grace Yes Yes Yes
Lambert and Nuttycombe 1970 At Home Yes Yes
Bob Dylan 1970 Self Portrait co-eng.Yes
The Rolling Stones 1970 Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out! Yes Yes Yes
Humble Pie 1970 Humble Pie Yes Yes Yes
Philamore Lincoln 1970 The North Wind Blew South Yes
Billy Preston 1970 That’s the Way God Planned It Yes Yes
Leon Russell 1970 Leon Russell Yes Yes
The Beatles 1970 Let it Be Yes
Joe Cocker 1970 Mad Dogs & Englishmen Yes Yes
Delaney & Bonnie & Friends 1970 On Tour with Eric Clapton Yes
The Move 1970 Shazam Yes Yes
The Band 1970 Stage Fright co-eng.Yes
Spooky Tooth 1970 The Last Puff Yes Yes
McGuinness Flint 1970 McGuinness Flint Yes Yes Yes
The Faces 1971 A Nod Is As Good As a Wink… to a Blind Horse Yes Yes Yes
Boz Scaggs 1971 Boz Scaggs & Band Yes Yes Yes
Ben Sidran 1971 Feel Your Groove Yes Yes
McGuinness Flint 1971 Happy Birthday, Ruthie Baby Yes Yes Yes
Jesse Ed Davis 1971 ¡Jesse Davis! Yes Yes Yes
Leon Russell 1971 Leon Russell and the Shelter People Yes Yes
Boz Scaggs 1971 Moments Yes Yes Yes
Rita Coolidge 1971 Nice Feelin’ Yes
Howlin’ Wolf 1971 The London Howlin’ Wolf Sessions Yes
Humble Pie 1971 Rock On Yes Yes Yes
Graham Nash 1971 Songs for Beginners Yes
The Rolling Stones 1971 Sticky Fingers co-eng.Yes co-mix.Yes
Spooky Tooth 1971 Tobacco Road Yes Yes
The Who 1971 Who’s Next co-prod.Yes Yes Yes
Eagles 1972 Eagles Yes Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1972 Exile on Main St. co-eng.Yes co-mix.Yes
Rita Coolidge 1972 The Lady’s Not for Sale Yes Yes Yes
Neil Young 1972 Harvest co-eng.Yes
Nicky Hopkins, Ry Cooder, Mick Jagger, Bill Wyman, and Charlie Watts 1972 Jamming with Edward Yes Yes Yes
Chris Jagger 1973 Chris Jagger Yes
Eagles 1973 Desperado Yes Yes Yes
Eric Clapton 1973 Eric Clapton’s Rainbow Concert Yes
The Faces 1973 Ooh La La Yes Yes Yes
The Who 1973 Quadrophenia co-prod.Yes co-eng.Yes
Ric Grech 1973 The Last Five Years Yes Yes Yes
Paul McCartney and Wings 1973 Red Rose Speedway co-eng.Yes
Gallagher & Lyle 1973 Seeds Yes Yes Yes
The Ozark Mountain Daredevils 1973 The Ozark Mountain Daredevils co-prod.Yes Yes Yes
Gallagher & Lyle 1973 Willie and the Lapdog Yes Yes Yes
The Ozark Mountain Daredevils 1974 It’ll Shine When It Shines co-prod.Yes Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1974 It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll Yes
Eagles 1974 On the Border co-prod.Yes co-eng.Yes
Gallagher & Lyle 1974 The Last Cowboy Yes Yes Yes
Georgie Fame 1974 Georgie Fame Yes Yes Yes
Fairport Convention 1975 Rising for the Moon Yes Yes Yes
The Who 1975 The Who by Numbers Yes Yes Yes
Andy Fairweather Low 1976 Be Bop ‘n’ Holla Yes Yes Yes
Fools Gold 1976 Fools Gold Yes Yes Yes
Joan Armatrading 1976 Joan Armatrading Yes Yes Yes
Ron Wood & Ronnie Lane 1976 Mahoney’s Last Stand Yes Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 1976 Black and Blue co-eng.Yes
Buckacre 1976 Moring Comes Yes Yes Yes
The Bernie Leadon—Michael Georgiades Band 1977 Natural Progressions Yes Yes Yes
Pete Townshend & Ronnie Lane 1977 Rough Mix Yes Yes Yes
Joan Armatrading 1977 Show Some Emotion Yes Yes Yes
Eric Clapton 1977 Slowhand Yes Yes Yes
Eric Clapton 1977 Backless Yes Yes Yes
Craig Nuttycombe 1977 It’s Just a Lifetime Yes Yes Yes
Joan Armatrading 1978 To the Limit Yes Yes Yes
Paul Kennerly and various Artists 1978 White Mansions Yes Yes Yes
The Who 1978 Who Are You co-prodYes co-eng.Yes Yes
Mark Benno 1979 Lost in Austin Yes Yes Yes
Joan Armatrading 1979 Steppin’ Out Yes Yes Yes
Live Wire (band) 1979 Pick it UP Yes
Lazy Racer 1980 Formula II Yes Yes Yes
Tim Renwick 1980 Tim Renwick Yes Yes Yes
Paul Kennerly 1980 Legend of Jessie James Yes Yes Yes
Danny Joe Brown 1981 Danny Joe Brown and the Danny Joe Brown Band Yes Yes Yes
Jools Holland 1981 Jools Holland and His Millionaires Yes Yes Yes
Midnight Oil 1981 Place Without a Postcard Yes Yes Yes
Nine Below Zero 1981 Don’t Point Your Finger Yes Yes Yes
Chris de Burgh 1981 Best Moves Yes Yes Yes
The Clash 1982 Combat Rock Yes
The Who 1982 It’s Hard Yes Yes Yes
Local Boys 1983 Moments of Madness Yes Yes Yes
Various artists 1984 ARMS Concert Yes Yes Yes
Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, Albert Lee, 1984 No Introduction Necessary Yes
Téléphone 1984 Un Autre Monde Yes Yes Yes
Bob Dylan 1984 Real Live Yes Yes Yes
Immaculate Fools 1985 Hearts of Fortune Yes
Téléphone 1986 Le Live Yes Yes Yes
Roaring Boys 1986 Roaring Boys Yes Yes Yes
The Big Dish 1986 Swimmer Yes Yes Yes
New Model Army 1986 The Ghost of Cain Yes Yes Yes
Joolz 1987 Hex Yes
Spooky Tooth 1987 Spooky Tooth Yes Yes
Helen Watson 1987 Blue Slipper Yes Yes
Labi Siffre 1987 (Something Inside) So Strong Yes Yes Yes
John Hiatt 1988 Slow Turning Yes Yes
Nancy Griffith 1989 Storms Yes Yes
Green on Red 1989 This Time Around (Green on Red album) Yes Yes
John Hiatt 1990 Stolen Moments Yes Yes
Summerhill 1990 West of Here Yes
Del Shannon 1991 The Liberty Years Yes
Energy Orchard 1992 Stop the Machine Yes Yes
Ethan Johns 1992 Independent Years Yes Yes
David Crosby 1993 Thousand Roads Yes Yes Yes
Crosby, Stills, & Nash 1994 After the Storm Yes Yes Yes
The Subdudes 1994 Annunciation Yes Yes Yes
Jackopierce 1995 Bringing on the Weather Yes
Bruce Cockburn 1994 Dart to the Heart Yes
Joe Satriani 1995 Joe Satriani Yes Yes
The Beatles 1996 Anthology 3 co-eng.Yes
Eric Clapton 1996 Crossroads 2: Live in the Seventies Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones and various artists 1996 The Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus Yes Yes
Warm Jets 1997 Future Signs Yes Yes
Bill Wyman’s Rhythm Kings 1998 Struttin’ Our Stuff Yes
Linda Ronstadt 1998 We Ran Yes Yes
Bill Wyman’s Rhythm Kings 1999 Anyway the Wind Blows Yes
Emmylou Harris & Linda Ronstadt 1999 Western Wall: The Tucson Sessions Yes Yes Yes
Various artists 1999 Return of the Grievous Angel: A Tribute to Gram Parsons Yes Yes Yes
John Hiatt and various artists 20o2 Disney’s The Country Bears musical dir.
Bruce Cockburn 2005 Speechless Yes
Andy Fairweather Low 2006 Sweet Soulful Music Yes Yes Yes
The Clash 2008 Live at Shea Stadium Yes
Ian McLagan & the Bump Band 2008 Never Say Never Yes+ mastering
Ryan Adams 2011 Ashes & Fire Yes Yes Yes
Ben Waters 2011 Boogie 4 Stu: A Tribute to Ian Stewart Yes
The Rolling Stones 2012 Charlie is My Darling: Ireland 1965 Yes
The Staves 2012 Dead & Born & Grown Up & Live co-prod.Yes Yes Yes
The Rolling Stones 2012 GRRR! Yes
Band of Horses 2012 Mirage Rock Yes Yes Yes
Ethan Johns 2012 If Not Now Then When? Yes
Aaron Neville 2013 My True Story Yes
Patty Griffin 2013 Silver Bell Yes
Stephen Stills 2013 Carry On co-prod.Yes co-eng.Yes co-mixYes
Bob Dylan 2013 Another Self Portrait (1969-1971: The Bootleg Series, Vol. 10) co-eng.Yes
Benmont Tench 2014 You Should Be So Lucky Yes Yes Yes
Ian McLagan & the Bump Band 2014 United States Yes
Joe Satriani 2014 The Complete Studio Recordings Yes Yes
Bruce Cockburn 2014 Rumours of Glory (True North) Yes
David Bowie 2014 Nothing Has Changed co-eng.Yes
The Small Faces 2014 Here Come the Nice: The Immediate Years 1967-1969 Yes
The Small Faces 20.. Greatest Hits: The Immediate Years 1967-1969 Yes
The Faces 2015 You Can Make Me Dance, Sing or Anything: 1970-1975 Yes Yes
Various artists 2015 Truckers, Kickers, Cowboys Angels: The Blissed-Out Birth of Country-Rock , Vol. 7: 1974 Yes Yes Yes
Various artists 2015 Songs: The Very Best of Acoustic – The Collection co-prod.Yes
The Rolling Stones 2015 From the Vault: The Marquee Club Live in 1971 Yes
Paul McCartney 2016 Pure McCartney Yes
Eric Clapton 2016 I Still Do Yes Yes
Eagles 2017 Their Greatest Hits, Vols. 1 & 2 Yes Yes
Jesse Ed Davis 2017 Red Dirt Boogie: The Atco Recordings 1970-1972 Yes

Bob Dylan – Eat The Document

This was a film that covered Bob Dylan on his 1966 European tour backed up by the Hawks that eventually became The Band minus, Levon Helm. The film was to be shown on ABC television but ABC rejected and saying it was “incomprehensible” because Dylan himself was one of the editors and wanted the film to have more of an artistic feel.

It was filmed by D.A. Pennebaker who filmed Dylan’s 65 European tour when he played acoustically called Don’t Look Back. Don’t Look Back is terrific. This film is very disjointed. That is not saying I don’t like it. This is the Dylan period that probably is my favorite. The Hawks are raw and powerful and Dylan was

There are some highlights to this odd film. A spontaneous piano duet with Dylan and Johnny Cash, John Lennon and Bob Dylan very high riding around in a cab, and the famous concert where an audience member yells out “Judas” because of Dylan’s conversion to electric music. After the Judas remark, he proceeds to tell Robbie Robertson to play it loud and they kick off in a vicious “Like a Rolling Stone.” My favorite live version of that song. Those folk music fans were harsh.

The film is disjointed and frustrating to watch because some of the songs you want to see and hear are there…but only partly. You will be seeing Dylan performing something and then flash away to something else. Some of the concert footage and film from this ended up in the Martin Scorsese movie No Direction Home…I would recommend No Direction Home to everyone.

Bob was pale and nervous and there is no secret he was doing drugs heavily through this movie. After the tour, Dylan had a motorcycle wreck heard around the world and after he recovered he didn’t tour for years.

The cab ride with John Lennon is historical now. Both of them in sunglasses and Lennon trying to inject humor into the situation and Dylan is ok at first and then starts getting sick as the filming stops.

If you are a Dylan fan it’s worth a watch. I’m glad we have “No Direction Home” to see some clear film segments on that tour. Eat The Document has not been officially released but you can get a bootleg of it or watch most of it on youtube.

 

The Beatle Cartoon Series

I have all 39 episodes taken from VHS tape but you can view most on youtube. The cartoon reminds me of the style of Rocky and Bullwinkle.  John and George were voiced by Paul Frees who did the voice for Boris Badenov on Rocky and Bullwinkle. They ran on ABC from 1965-1969 though only 65-67 were first run episodes.

The show was made on the cheap and the cartoon Beatles were put in usual cartoon situations like a jungle, haunted house, or on a boat. The main thing was to play a Beatle song in the background while our heroes got out or into a jam.

They were a rating success. I watch them now and think…why not get actors with real British accents to voice them? They are silly and fun but George especially had no accent at all. The Beatles had nothing to do with them and didn’t really like them at first when they were first on air. They started to appreciate them more as time went on.

With season 3 you start seeing more pop art being incorporating in the episodes. They have segments where flower power framed the newer songs. Some of the segments looked really good but then they would go back to their younger selves. Some of the episodes could be considered so bad they are good…but I like them.

I never got to see these until the 1980s.

Below is an episode in the 3rd season where at least they show updated pictures of the Beatles in the title sequence with a groovy background.

Below are the episodes descriptions from Wikipedia

Season 1 (1965–66)

1. A Hard Day’s Night / I Want to Hold Your Hand: The Beatles are in Transylvania rehearsing in a haunted house with “monstrous” visitors, including a vampire, a ghost, a werewolf, and a witch, with a parody of Boris Karloff; To hide from their fans, the Beatles run inside a diving bell which drops them into the ocean with a lovesick octopus. Sing Alongs: Not A Second Time / Devil In Her Heart

2. Do You Want To Know A Secret / If I Fell: The Beatles go to Dublin, Ireland for the weekend where they meet a leprechaun named Wilhelmina Morris; John is kidnapped by Dr. Dora Florahyde and Igor, both of whom want John’s brain for their monster. In the I Want To Hold Your Hand Sing Along, Ringo is shown inside a submarine. Sing Alongs: A Hard Day’s Night / I Want To Hold Your Hand

3. Please Mr. Postman / Devil In Her Heart: Ringo loses 15 rings he bought with all of the Beatles’ spendings and they are expecting a telegram from manager Brian Epstein for more money; Ringo wanders into the woods in Transylvania where he meets a witch who wants Ringo for a husband. Sing Alongs: If I Fell / Do You Want To Know A Secret

4. Not A Second Time / Slow Down: The Beatles abandon their flight and land in Africa while trying to get away from their fans, but three girls keep tracking them down. They later encounter a few crocodiles; The Beatles are on the way to the town Ringo Ravine (named after Ringo) until they encounter a donkey that smells gold named “Gold Nose”. Sing Alongs: Baby’s In Black / Misery

5. Baby’s In Black / Misery: Paul gets kidnapped by Professor Psycho who wants Paul to marry his creation Vampiress, half girl and half bat; The Beatles go to a wax museum where a vampire follows them. Sing Alongs: I’ll Get You / Chains

6. You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me / Chains: In Africa, Ringo asks a medicine maker named Jack to help fix the Beatles’ flat tire. He then turns a worm into a snake and it lusts for Ringo; After getting knocked out, Ringo dreams about himself as Captain William Bligh from the movie Mutiny on the Bounty (1962). Sing Alongs: Slow Down / Honey Don’t

7. I’ll Get You / Honey Don’t: The Beatles run into hunter Alan Watermain (a parody of Alan Quartermain) in Africa after escaping from their fans and go out hunting for a lion; Ringo is mistaken as a bull rider, and the cowboys send him to ride on a super-tough bull named Honey. Sing Alongs: You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me / Any Time At All

8. Any Time At All / Twist and Shout: The Beatles imagine themselves as the Three Musketeers (Plus One) while they are on a tour at a museum in France; The Beatles attend an art show where a girl tries to be like other artists. They inspire her with music. Sing Alongs: I’ll Be Back / Little Child

9. Little Child / I’ll Be Back: A Native American girl on a Texas Indian reservation wants to prove that girls are as good at trapping as boys are by trapping the Beatles; The mayor of a Texas town gives Ringo a golden guitar as a gift, only to be stolen by three men, prompting the Fab Four to hunt for the thieves and get the guitar back. (The song “Ticket to Ride” is heard at the beginning of this episode.) Sing Alongs: Long Tall Sally / Twist And Shout

10. Long Tall Sally / I’ll Cry Instead: The Beatles stay at a castle for the night during a fog. John and Ringo try on a couple of cursed armor suits and start to fight each other; After signing too many autographs in Japan, George’s hand gets swollen and suffers “autographitis”. His bandmates take him to a hand doctor but end up in a karate class by mistake. Sing Alongs: I’ll Follow The Sun / When I Get Home

11. I’ll Follow the Sun / When I Get Home: The Beatles’ car breaks down and they are captured by a highwayman who happens to be a car repair man; The Beatles explore the Notre Dame in France where they later meet its famous hunchback Quasimodo. Sing Alongs: I’ll Cry Instead / Everybody’s Trying To Be My Baby

12. Everybody’s Trying To Be My Baby / I Should Have Known Better: The Beatles, spending the night at a temple in Japan during a rainstorm, are mistaken for Japanese ancestors of four girls; The Beatles are in Rome trying to find a theater to rehearse. Their last resort is the Coliseum. Sing Alongs: I’m A Loser / I Wanna Be Your Man

13. I’m A Loser / I Wanna Be Your Man: In Hollywood, Ringo gets hired as a stuntman by Incredible Pictures Inc. and ends up in the hospital after getting pulverized in many scenes; In Rome, the Beatles buy a statue of the Goddess of Musica made from stolen gold coins melted down and sculptured. Sing Alongs: No Reply / I’m Happy Just To Dance With You

14. Don’t Bother Me / No Reply: In Rome, The Beatles are being followed by two spies who are after their songbook, “New Beatle Songs”, marked “Top Secret”. The Beatles movie Help! and Oddjob from the James Bond movie Goldfinger are spoofed; In Japan, The Beatles are warned by a Charlie Chanlookalike about a jewel thief named Anyface. Things become complicated when Anyface shows up disguised as Paul. Sing Alongs: It Won’t Be Long / I Should Have Known Better

15. I’m Happy Just To Dance With You / Mr. Moonlight: The Beatles are in a Roman Street Festival where Paul wins a dancing bear named Bonnie; The Beatles meet Professor Ludwig Von Brilliant who is on a mission to view an eclipse. After being adrift at sea, they escape from an island on a submarine. Sing Alongs: Don’t Bother Me / Can’t Buy Me Love

16. Can’t Buy Me Love / It Won’t Be Long: John is given a friendship ring from a Polynesian tribal chief, which means he must marry the chief’s New York-accented daughter who dislikes pineapples; While picnicking in Japan, John goes for a swim in a pond with shrinking potion in it and gets shrunk. The other Beatles think John is a Beatle doll and chase after him. Sing Alongs: Anna (Go to Him) / Mr. Moonlight

17. Anna / I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party: In Japan, Paul gets lured into a ghost ship called “Ah-Nah”. The other Beatles dash off to the rescue before they might lose Paul for good; Paul, George and Ringo sneak away from John and go to Greenwich Village for some fun time at a Beatnik party rather than going to a museum. Sing Alongs: Matchbox / Thank You Girl

18. Matchbox / Thank You Girl: In Hawaii, John buys a trailer for the group to stay in rather than staying at a hotel so many times. They later encounter a group of Hawaiians who are evacuating from a volcano; The Beatles sneak away from their manager to get something to eat at a French restaurant by enrolling in a cooking course. Sing Alongs: I Don’t Want To Spoil The Party / Help!

19. From Me To You / Boys*: In Hawaii, a surfer named Surf Wolf challenges George to a surfing duel; The Beatles participate in a Mr. Hollywood Contest in California. Sing Alongs: Please Mr. Postman / I Saw Her Standing There
Note: The opening title erroneously shows “With Love From Me To You”

20. Dizzy Miss Lizzy / I Saw Her Standing There: John and Paul secretly sign George up to an ice boat race, and he partners up with a girl named Lizzy; In Madrid, John and Paul visit a restaurant where John develops a hot foot with ashes in his boot. Rosita falls for John, and her boyfriend Jose challenges John to a duel. Sing Alongs: Ticket To Ride / From Me To You

21. What You’re Doing / Money*: The Beatles are on a fishing trip, and Ringo runs into gypsies. One of them falls for Ringo and wants to marry him. George comes in as a woman claiming he’s engaged to Ringo to get him back; John puts Ringo in charge to keep their money safe in his jacket pocket. Later Ringo is being followed by a mystery man at a carnival who is after the money. (The song “Help!” is heard at the beginning of this episode.) Sing Alongs: Dizzy Miss Lizzy / All My Loving

22. Komm Gib Mir Deine Hand* / She Loves You: The Beatles visit the Bavarian alps mission is to climb up a mountain with the dog Gunthar to put up their own flag on top; The Beatles are about to rescue a girl who they think is held as a prisoner on a ship. As a result, her boyfriend, a knife thrower, comes to her defense…with knives. Sing Alongs: Bad Boy / Tell Me Why

23. Bad Boy / Tell Me Why: The Beatles visit the Bavarian Alps. They encounter a runaway named Hans who wants to be a Beatle, prompting The Fab Four to run after him with their music (in which Paul plays the bass right-handed) and take him back home. (The song “Slow Down” is heard in the background); In Spain, Ringo is the jockey of a donkey that can run like a horse whenever she hears loud music. Sing Alongs: Please Please Me / Hold Me Tight

24. I Feel Fine / Hold Me Tight: Paul thinks Hollywood’s a phony. Actor Dick Dashing wants to prove Paul he is wrong by putting him in some different movie scenes; In New York, George and Ringo visit the Statue Of Liberty until they have spotted a man with a package which they think is a bomb. Sing Alongs: What You’re Doing / There’s A Place

25. Please Please Me / There’s A Place: In Madrid, a bull named El Taco gets knocked out, and the Beatles decide to help out with the bullfight with Ringo as the matador, and John and Paul as the bull; John’s sympathy helps a trained ape named Mr. Marvelous escape from the television studio and go out to explore the outside world. Sing Alongs: Roll Over Beethoven / Rock And Roll Music

26. Roll Over Beethoven / Rock and Roll Music: The Beatles are on their way home after visiting New York City until Paul gets grabbed by an elephant named Beethoven; The Beatles are invited to play at the Duke’s Palace, but they are mistaken for a string quartet. Sing Alongs: I Feel Fine / She Loves You

Season 2 (1966)

27. Eight Days A Week / I’m Looking Through You: A great movie lover named Lips Lovelace loses his ability to kiss. Paul decides to take his place in the studio with a leading lady who falls for him; The Beatles are in Egypt. They are wandering around in a pyramid until Ringo encounters a ghost who wants a body, and he chooses Ringo’s. Sing Alongs: Run For Your Life / Girl**

28. Help! / We Can Work It Out: Paul and Ringo go to a fashion show in Paris, but the designs are stolen by a thief named Jacques Le Zipper. Paul chases Jacques to the Eiffel Tower, and has trouble with heights; George becomes superstitious. The Beatles encounter the Lucky Wizard who is really a thief trying to give them bad luck and rob their money. Sing Alongs: The Night Before** / Day Tripper

29. I’m Down* / Run For Your Life: The Beatles are on a tour at a wine factory in France where Ringo accidentally knocks down a vat of wine. If it does not get fixed in two hours, the factory will go out of business; The Beatles are on a tour at the Palace of Versailles. Ringo gets knocked out by a statue, and dreams about the days of Marie Antoinette. Sing Alongs: Eight Days A Week / Paperback Writer

30. Drive My Car* / Tell Me What You See*: The Beatles help a young man and his girlfriend get their old jalopy running in a car race, the Popsville Hot Rod Race; While visiting “the man of a thousand faces”, The Beatles fool around with his makeup machine and change into different characters. (John briefly imitates Jimmy Durante and Swee’Pea from “Popeye” makes a cameo.) Sing Alongs: Yesterday** / We Can Work It Out

31. I Call Your Name* / The Word*: Ringo is convinced to release his pet frog Bartholomew in the swamp. Later a movie producer offers a filming deal to Ringo and the frog, and the Fabs have dashed off to find Bartholomew; The Beatles are being punished after gazing at the girls’ unveiled faces. The only way to get out of the situation is to say the password: “love”. Sing Alongs: She’s a Woman** (original broadcast, replaced with a repeat of I Feel Fine) / Wait

32. All My Loving / Day Tripper: The Beatles are in India where they learn how to charm an animal at an “Indian Charm Skool”. When the animal is revealed to be a tiger, they use music to tame it when it is about to claw John and Ringo (The song “Love You To” is heard in the beginning of this episode.); After watching the movie The Way Out Creatures From Planet Glom, the Beatles take a trip out into space with a beautiful woman who is actually an alien taking them on a one-way trip 23 billion miles from Earth. Sing Alongs: I’m Looking Through You / Nowhere Man

33. Nowhere Man / Paperback Writer: The Beatles walk into a cave for some exploring which is a home of a hermit who wants to be alone. He tries to get rid of them, but no luck; Each of the Beatles write fictional stories of how they met with Ringo as a theatre actor, Paul as a scientist, George as a secret agent, and John as a war pilot. Sing Alongs: And I Love Her** / Michelle**

Season 3 (1967)

34. Penny Lane / Strawberry Fields: In a spoof of James Bond, the Beatles are jealous of a detective named James Blonde who gets more attention from many women, so the Fab Four head to their hometown of Liverpool to stop a robbery on Penny Lane so they can be heroes; Traveling with their driver James, the Beatles use music to add color and happiness to the lives of the children at an orphanage, a reference to Strawberry Field in Woolton, a suburb of Liverpool. John sums up the experience with “It’s all in the mind, you know.” Sing Alongs: Good Day Sunshine / Rain**

35. And Your Bird Can Sing / Got To Get You Into My Life: The Beatles and a couple of hunters hunt for a rare bird called a green double-breasted tropical woosted that can sing anything, including “Hound Dog” and “She Loves You”; The Beatles are in India, learning how to escape from their bodies from Swami Rivers. It works, but the problem is that the souls’ bodies are moving by themselves, and they must get them before it’s too late. (“Love You To” is heard in the background) Sing Alongs: Penny Lane / Eleanor Rigby

36. Good Day Sunshine / Ticket To Ride: Ringo thinks he’s a jinx. When the Beatles arrive at Carney Island, it starts to rain. Their music turns the rainy day back into a sunny day which makes Ringo happy. (The song “Little Child” is heard at the end of this episode.); The Beatles each have their own hobby. Paul paints, George builds a three-eyed robot, John writes and Ringo collects “birds” which is an English slang term for girls. Paul releases the only one Ringo caught and he runs after her. Sing Alongs: Strawberry Fields Forever / And Your Bird Can Sing

37. Taxman* / Eleanor Rigby: The Beatles get knocked out while carrying tons of money to the bank, and dream about the days of Robin Hood. Paul exclaims: “It never happened”; A group of children claim that an elderly woman named Eleanor Rigby is a witch. The Fabs tell them the true story about Eleanor Rigby in a song. (The song “I Feel Fine” is heard at the end of this episode.) Sing Alongs: Got To Get You Into My Life / Here, There and Everywhere**

38. Tomorrow Never Knows*/I’ve Just Seen a Face*: The Beatles fall into a well and end up in the inner world with foreign natives. The chief wants the Fabs to marry his daughters, and they began to run away. (The song “Love You To” is heard during this episode.); Ringo loses his singing voice. For treatment, his three mates send Ringo to a haunted house to scare his voice back. Sing Alongs: She Said She Said** / Long Tall Sally (repeat)

39. Wait / I’m Only Sleeping*: The Prince of Krapotkin’s girlfriend is in grave danger. The Beatles help him to save her from the Prime Minister who wants to marry her; John falls asleep while telling a story to a couple of children. In his dream he volunteers to help King Arthur and Merlin slay a vicious dragon. However, John and his mates opt instead to play music to put the dragon to sleep. Sing Alongs: Penny Lane (repeat) / Eleanor Rigby (repeat)

 

 

Shell Shocked: My Life with the Turtles

One of the most self-deprecating books I’ve ever read. Howard Kaylan goes through his career with the Turtles who never really took themselves too seriously. They wanted to be the American Beatles…just like every other band at the time but did it with a sense of humor. They were a singles band that had quite a number of top 40 hits. According to Howard, they lucked into most of it. They only wrote a couple of their hits.

Their hits included “Happy Together” #1, “It Aint Me Babe” # 8, “She’d Rather Be With Me” #3, Eleanor #6, “You Showed Me” #6 and many more.

After the Turtles broke up, he and Mark Volman went by the name “Flo and Eddie,” for legal reasons and made a career of unusual rock-comedy albums and developed a following. They immediately began playing with Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention and was there when Frank was pushed off the stage at the Rainbow. They were also in the Zappa movie 200 Motels.

After Zappa, they worked as a duo and released a lot of albums for many different labels.  They were more known for their live performances and they were a good opening act. Howard and Mark were columnists, radio hosts, session backup singers, talk show hosts, actors, composers, and anything else to make ends meet. They did the background vocals on Hungry Heart by Bruce Springsteen.

Howard and Mark wrote the Strawberry Shortcake theme and they wrote music for the Care Bears.

Another rock autobiography…big surprise! But unlike some of the others…Howard wasn’t rich and could not live off of royalties or constant touring like many of the other rock stars that have spilled it all recently.  After the breakup, The Turtles could not even tour as the Turtles until later on because of their label. They were broke many times but opportunities would pop up like being radio hosts and would help them make it to the next big thing.

Now they tour on the Happy Together tour with other artists and have been doing it since the eighties off and on.

They ended up owning their name and the master recordings from the 1960s because the label went broke and they were smart enough to get the rights… Howard and Mark were the first to sue rap artists for sampling their material without paying for it. They won and now everyone has to pay to sample anything from another artist. The Turtles were the first big artists with a catalog to sign with Rhino Record and helped the label to take off.

It may be the funniest of all the recent biographies. He ran into a lot of famous people and even made a movie out of meeting the Beatles and Jimi Hendrix in 1967 at the Speakeasy in London called “My Dinner With Jimi.”

It is a funny book with a lot of laughs but you have to scratch your head while reading about Howard making the same mistakes over and over. For Howard, it was drugs, women, marriage, drugs, a girlfriend, divorce, marriage and more drugs…maybe it’s not that much different from the richer stars after all.

I was never a big Turtle fan. I have an account with Audible and this was recommended. Overall I did enjoy it.

Below is an excerpt from the book about meeting The Beatles in 1967 and John Lennon being vicious toward Turtle rhythm guitar player Jim Tucker… Today Jim Tucker denies this ever happened. He said that John didn’t even say a word to any of them so who knows?

Paul said, “I really enjoyed your record.” And then, to me, “Great voice, man. Nice set of pipes.” I was bursting.
Then Lennon. “Yeah, that’s a lovely bit of Flower Power in the middle there with those ba-ba-bas.” And then all three of them sang the ba-ba-bas. And we were all beside ourselves with swollen pride.
“So, where did you learn to sing?” Paul asked me.
“High school choir, I guess. Then we formed the band and started playing local clubs, you know, a little bit of R&B stuff—”
“What kind of R&B stuff.”
“Oh, you know, ‘Money,’ ‘What’d I Say,’ ‘Justine’…”
“‘Justine’ by Don and Dewey? I love that song.”
And then Paul began to sing the Crossfires’ trademark soul song. I joined in on the answers and the chorus. Ringo played spoons on the tabletop while the customers watched and Lennon looked on as if bored to death. When we were done, there was a smattering of applause and Paul said, “That was great. I’d love to do that with my band some day. You sing great.”
“Oh my God, thank you,” I gushed.
“Still, it is a bit sappy on your record there when you sing ‘invest a dime’ with that cry in your voice. A bit light in the loafers, if you ask me.”

“What?” Yeah, I became defensive all right. “We’re just trying to be the American version of you!”
“Touché” said McCartney.
“Well, that’s not bloody likely, is it?” Lennon piped in. His eyes skipped from Turtle to Turtle, checking us out for the first time. “And what do you call that guy over there?” John pointed at Tucko, who was cowering in his wrinkled brown suit, thrilled just to be noticed.
“That’s Jim Tucker, our rhythm guitar player “
“Bad suit, son. And an even worse haircut. Did you tell your barber to give you a Beatle cut? It’s awful, man. You give rhythm players a bad name.”
Tucko, oblivious, stumbled for words. “You’re like a god to me, man. You guys changed my life.”
Much to his credit, Pons tried, in vain, to turn the conversation around. “We just heard Sergeant Pepper and I’ve got to thank you on behalf of the entire world for the greatest album of all time!”
Paul graciously nodded thanks and toasted us with his beverage. But John was not to be denied.
“Tucko, is it? I could have a lot of fun with that name. Let’s see… Tucko Tucko, bo bucko, banana fanna fo fucko…”
Tucker winced and Lennon saw the weakness and went in for the kill.
“There was a boy named Tucko, a very stupid fellow—”
Finally, Jim realized that he was the butt of Lennon’s abuse and could hold back no longer.
“What is your problem, man? You’re supposed to be the Beatles! I fuckin’ loved you guys and you turn out to be assholes.”
Lennon feigned shock and recoiled at the words.
“Tsk, tsk … such language. What would your mum say?”
“She’d say you were a dick, that’s what! Man, was I wrong. You’re a total shit! I’m sorry I ever met you!”
Lennon shook his head slowly, savoring every syllable. “You never did, son. You never did.”
And with that, Jim Tucker walked away from the table, up the stairs, and into a cab. And, following the few British shows we had lined up, Jim flew home and never played music again. The Turtles would continue on as a five-piece band from that time forward. The other guys followed Jim upstairs, and our goodbyes were a lot sadder than our hellos had been.

 

 

Walking Tall 1973

Living in the south during the 1970s I knew about the sheriff named Buford Pusser. Hollywood made some enhancements no doubt but… Many small towns in the south were crooked. The town I lived in blocked all restaurant and store chains from moving in…and a few other things. A man that lived in our town ended up writing a small pamphlet book about the place and all of the shenanigans going on and he ended up with a bad case of dead. At least that was the tale I was told when I was young.

I do remember hiking in the woods as a kid and running up on a copper contraption. It was older but it was no doubt on what it was used for…

The movie is not a great five-star flick but it’s a good entertaining film about what happened in McNairy County Tennessee with the big stick carrying Sherriff Buford Pusser. They definitely massaged the truth and you will not get the “Rock” in this one. I don’t really look at it as true or not…just an entertaining movie. It has more of a realism feel than the most current remake.

It’s a vigilante drama and a revenge fantasy that paces itself pretty well. Joe Don Baker is believable in this movie. If you hate violence this is not for you. The Sheriff almost single-handedly cleans up the town with the aid of a big stick. The film is cleaned up and not as grainy as I remembered. You will see the future 70s pinup singer Leif Garret as the Sheriff’s son…also future Rockford Files dad Noah Beery Jr. I watched the movie recently and it holds up better than I remembered.

The cast included Joe Don Baker, Elizabeth Hartley, Leif Garrett, Dawn Lyn, and Noah Beery Jr.

My wife and I traveled to Memphis to visit Graceland in the late 90s. On the way back home we got lost (pre-GPS and I have no sense of direction) and ended up in McNairy County. I remembered the name and we looked up we saw Pusser’s old home which was turned into a museum. We walked in and the lady working there was super nice. We sat on his couch, looked at his car, badges, guns, and uniforms. Before I left I could not resist…I just had to buy one of those big sticks…which was just an ax handle with his name and also a VHS tape of the Sherriff’s story. They may not allow so much freedom now.

It was pretty cool being able to touch and walk around freely after the “stay behind the rope!” mentality at Graceland…which I understand completely…Hey it’s the home of the big E. If you ever go to Graceland and if you have a couple of hours to spare, drive to this museum it is interesting… it’s like going back in time to the mid-seventies…it was just a fluke that we found it but it was fun.

Off topic of the movie again but Jimmy Buffet had a Buford Pusser story. I’ve heard this from different sources but this is from http://www.buffettworld.com… The movie was good but this would have been GREAT to see.

In 1974, Jimmy Buffett had a run-in with famed “Walking Tall” sheriff Buford Pusser. The story is referred to in “Presents To Send You” from the 1974 album A1A and also in “Semi-True Stories” from the 1999 album Beach House On The Moon.
In both songs, few details are mentioned. But at a show in 1974 at the Exit Inn in Nashville, just a few months after the incident, Buffett took some time to tell the crowd about the altercation:

“There were a lot of rumors circling around that I had an encounter with this young man. Which are true. We finished doing our recording over at Woodland Studio, real happy that the album had come out so well. All the lightweights had went out to get a few bottles of champagne and celebrate. Sammy Creason and Chuck Nease and I decided to go out and get a bottle of Cuervo Gold Tequilla and 3 straws. We went at it and in 15 minutes we were just knee-crawlin’ drunk. So we proceeded to the flashiest night spot in town, the roof of the King of the Road Hotel.

We’re there dining and dancing. Ronnie Milsap was on vacation. Sammy Creason was with me, so we provided just a gala of entertainment. Me on acoustic guitar so drunk I couldn’t hit the chords and him just pounding the drums out in 3-quarter time. Ran everybody out. We got the screaming munchies and we were going to Charlie Nickens to eat. And I couldn’t find my rent-a-car, which was parked somewhere amidst thousands of cars in the parking lot of the fabulous, plush King of the Road hotel. It was a little bitty car. It was hiding among many big ones there. And there was a Tennessee Prosecutors convention going on there. If they had made it to room 819 they would’ve had a closed door case.

So I stood on the hood of this car with a pair of… actually, they were old Ra Ra’s that I bought in Miami for 2 bucks. They were white and brown old Ra Ra’s but they were golf shoes so I had to take the cleats out but they still had the posts in them so they clicked a lot. I was standing on the hood of this particular car and as fate would have it it belonged to a rather large man who came up behind me and threatened my life real quickly. And I hadn’t been in a fight since junior high school on the city bus in Mobile. He came up and said “Son you stay right there, you’re under arrest”. So I politely turned around and said “You kiss my ass”. He didn’t. Instead he followed me over to the car which Sammy had found. I got in the driver’s side and Sammy got in the passenger’s side. My window was up, his was down and this fellow poked his head in and said “Would you like for me to turn this car over?”.

I was not scared of this individual. I just thought he was some ex-football player turned counselor. And Sammy said “look whatever damage we did ABC will pay for everything” which was awfully generous of Sammy since he didn’t have the authority to say so. Being a good company man I took up for my company and said “No they won’t. I’m still gonna beat your ass if you don’t leave us alone”. With that he pulled up then stuck his big head and his hand in and grabbed me by my hair until it separated from my head. I had a big bald spot on the back of it and I looked like a monk for about 3 months. Then he punched Sammy right in the nose. We knew he wasn’t kidding. So Sammy defended himself bravely with a big pen. He starts stabbing at this man’s arm trying to get it out of the window because we couldn’t start the car because with the new modern features of ‘74 automobiles you can not start your car unless your seat belt’s buckled and we were too drunk to get ours hooked up.

So we sit there while this man pounded the hell out of both of us. I looked over at Creason and I said “Sammy I don’t wanna die in a Gremlin.” Eaten by a shark, killed in a plane crash, but what’s my mother gonna say? Smashed to death in a Gremlin in the parking lot of the plush King of the Road hotel. Nope. So I mustered all the courage and energy I had and all the coordination I had left in my poor body and got the seat belt buckled and went to Charlie Nickens. We ordered our barbecue and on the way back we hit the Jefferson St. Bridge. Luckily there was no one around so we just backed up and headed for the hotel.

Got back, and we decided that this man may be lurking in the bushes or else may have been snorkeling around in the pool trying to scoop up coins that people threw in. So we decided to defend ourselves with a classic southern weapon: a tire tool. So we destroyed the back end of the Gremlin looking for the tire tool, found it. Walked through the lobby of these prosecutors, and we had caused a turmoil by this time. And got up to the 8th floor where we were staying and figured we were all safe. But I had forgotten my key.

So I had to go back downstairs and Sammy said well you take this I’m not going back down there. And he gave me the weapon, which I stuck in my back pocket. Walked down into the plush lobby of the plush King of the Road hotel, walked up to the desk and asked for the key to my room. This man snuck up behind me and took the tire tool out of my back pocket. I whipped around and I said “look you, that was for my protection and you started this whole thing. I didn’t mean to get on your car and I’m still gonna beat your ass if you don’t quit bothering me.” At this point, two detectives seized me, drug me into the elevator and said “son, we would call the police and have you arrested. You’ve caused quite a disturbance here tonight. But we figure your just lucky to be alive because that was Buford Pusser.” And I went “Oh. 8th floor please.”