Comedian Quotes II

I did this last week with the earlier comedians….this week I’ll concentrate on the 60s-70s.

George Carlin to Receive Two-Part Documentary From HBO and Judd Apatow -  Rolling Stone

George Carlin

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity

That Richard Pryor Biopic Is Back, And Headed To Netflix |  Birth.Movies.Death.

Richard Pryor

Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?

I’m not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells

I had to stop drinking, ‘cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers

There’s a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at

No Respect: The Rodney Dangerfield of the Investment World | Core Compass

Rodney Dangerfield

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah. My wife just broke up with her boyfriend

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat

When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother

Marriage. It’s not a word. It’s a sentence

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

Remembering Lenny Bruce, 50 years after his death - Los Angeles Times

Lenny Bruce

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God

Alright, let’s admit it, we Jews killed Christ – but it was only for three days

I am influenced by every second of my waking hour

It’s the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness

Emmys history: One-season winners starring Bob Newhart, Julie Andrews -  GoldDerby

Bob Newhart

I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’

Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don’t rush into adulthood, it isn’t all that much fun

Phyllis Diller "Mother-In-Law" on The Ed Sullivan Show - YouTube

Phyllis Diller

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best

I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them

Redd Foxx | Walk of Fame

Redd Foxx

If you can see the handwriting on the wall… you’re on the toilet

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why

You make me wish that birth control was retroactive

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Lily Tomlin Biography - Childhood, Life Achievements & Timeline

Lily Tomin

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

The road to success is always under construction.

I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Author: Badfinger (Max)

Power Pop fan, Baseball fan, old movie and tv show fan... and a songwriter, bass and guitar player.

36 thoughts on “Comedian Quotes II”

  1. Badfinger. Great post. Thanks for a laugh,
    Rodney Dangerfield the funniest.
    I was riding a bike on the beach of Santa Monica years ago and passed him by walking in his pajamas and robe. I wanted to stop, but the look him gave me was not inviting.
    Regards and goodwill blogging.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. those are great! All of them are good but I really liked the Carlin, Newhart and Dangerfield bits. If I’m not mistaken Bob Newhart had the best-selling album one year with a standup routine…surprising but it’s easy to see why he was so beloved.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll get a few of them… the one I’m anxious to get is Bill HIcks…my favorite…Leary owes him his career lol.

      Like

      1. No I didn’t to tell you the truth…I missed him and Woody Allen, Steve Martin, and most of all Andy Kaufman.

        Like

      2. Yea I will…now you got me thinking…Woody Allen I don’t mind…but Cosby will draw some ire lol

        Like

      3. So will Woody! They’ve got a doc about to be released (or maybe already has been) on Cosby that looks good. He let a lot of people down, especially where he symbolized a black family living an upper crust lifestyle.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. You are absolutely right. I may list them at the bottom with a note.
        Pryor really cut into Cosby and so did Murphy…I guess they may have known about his exploits.
        I liked Cosby but the best thing to me was Fat Albert…I was a teenager through the Cosby years…and like most teenagers I wanted something more edgy.

        But yea as human beings…they are pretty damn bad.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yea I know… but I don’t like erasing history. Yea I’m more of an Allen fan…wait…more of a fan of HIS films…and standup….but as a human being no.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my weekly lung clearing. Much appreciated, Max. This made me laugh out loud:
    “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why” All of these comedians are a cut above average.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lisa…these are the ones I grew up with. I forgot Ruth Buzzi also…I really liked her as a kid.
      That is a great one. Glad you enjoyed them.

      Liked by 1 person

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