I’ve heard people say that to truly appreciate Frank Zappa, one must have an understanding of humor, jazz, and rock and roll. I agree with that, but many of his songs are so engaging that you can just start listening to them, and they grow on you. I heard a live cut of this one first, and it was so good…I thought it was a studio cut. The song is also known as “My Guitar.”
Zappa was one of the best guitarists in the music scene. His band was always top-notch. As we talked about last week, Little Feat was born out of that band, and we all know how great they are. Flo and Eddie also graduated from the Mothers of Invention.
When it starts, it comes right at you, like Zappa is daring you to keep up. The title alone tells you what kind of ride you’re in for, and I’m a sucker for a great title. I love the humor of it, but this is a rock song that knows exactly what it’s doing. Zappa’s vocal delivery stays pointed, almost like he’s reading a message off a note he left on the refrigerator.
You can laugh at the story, but the groove is real, and the guitar work carries weight. Zappa could have stretched it out into something longer, but keeping it short makes it hit harder.
This song first appeared on The Mothers of Invention’s 1970 album Weasels Ripped My Flesh, released in 1969. Frank Zappa wrote this song…who else could have? The song was released as a single.
Here is a live cut from December 23, 1984.
My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
You know, your mama and your daddy
Saying I’m no good for you
They call me dirty from the alley
Till I don’t know what to do
I get so tired of sneaking around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and your mama jumped out
Screaming, don’t come back no more
I can’t take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad
Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren’t there
She told me don’t bother to call no more
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneaking around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and your mama jumped out
Screaming, don’t come back no more
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad
When I heard this song, I had to find out who it was. I was watching Late Night with the Devil, and this song played. I finally looked at the Soundtrack and to my surprise, it was Flo and Eddie. Flo (Phlorescent Leech) is Mark Volman, and Eddie is Howard Kaylan. Mark and Howard were the two founding members of the 1960s band The Turtles. The Turtles had a large vocal sound. Kaylan is a very good singer, and when combined with Volman, it made a unique sound for the Turtles.
After the Turtles broke up, Howard and Mark Volman went by the name “Flo and Eddie” for legal reasons (old Turtles contract). They made a career of unusual rock-comedy albums and developed a following. They immediately began playing with Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention and were there when Frank was pushed off the stage at the Rainbow. They were also in the Zappa movie, 200 Motels.
Flo & Eddie were what happened when two of the strangest, funniest, and most musically savvy minds to ever pass through the Top 40 were given free rein. This song was never a hit. It didn’t even scrape the charts. But like most of the best Flo & Eddie material, it was an inside joke with enough melody to trick you into thinking it WAS a hit. It’s a song about being past your prime, sung with the kind of confidence that says you never bought into the hype in the first place. If this came on the radio between Pablo Cruise and Seals & Crofts, you might not notice anything was different until you realized it was mocking both of them while sounding just as good.
The song opens with a clean piano, all smooth and clean guitars, but the lyrics are just… off. The chorus says “keep it warm,” but what is it, exactly? A bed? A place in your heart? An old seat at the Hollywood Squares? Richard Dawson’s seat on Match Game? Kaylan delivers it with such sincere charm that it takes a few listens before you realize it’s about disillusionment, being outdated, all the while dressed up in a Beach Boys falsetto.
The production was immaculate. Jim Pons (also ex-Turtle, ex-Zappa) lays down a bass line that fits the song perfectly. The arrangements swirl like mid-70s L.A. excess seen through a cracked, warped rearview mirror.
The song was on their 1976 album Moving Targets.
Keep It Warm
Write another song for the money Something they can sing, not so funny Money in the bank to keep us warm
Stick another grape in the juicer Or fill your guts with grease and get looser You are what you eat, so eat it warm
Roll another joint for the Gipper Get the Gipper high, he gets hipper Stick it in his mouth and keep him warm
Elect another jerk to the White House Gracie Slick is losing her Dormouse Take her off the streets and keep her warm (oh-oh)
Fight another war if they make you Squeal on a friend or they’ll take you The future’s in your lap, so keep it warm
Warm, here in your arms (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh) Safe from all harm, where I belong (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh) Warm, cozy and calm (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh) Another dawn, together warm (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh)
My Woody’s broken down by the beach now And TM’s gotten far out of reach now Tell the Mahareesh to keep it warm (We’re picking up good vibrations)
And George is suing Paul, suing Ringo And immigration wants John and Yoko All they need is love to keep them warm
Kill another whale with your power Shoot a bunch of kids from a tower Snipe them in their cars, blood keeps them warm
Or make a better world from the old one Make yourself a baby and hold one Hold her in your arms and keep her warm
Keep her warm, keep her warm Keep her warm, keep her warm Keep her warm, keep her warm Keep her warm, keep her warm Keep her warm…
I grew up listening to Zappa on the American Top 40 show with Casey Kasem. Uh…scratchthat. No, I only heard Zappa when I was over at a friend’s house with an older brother’s record collection. This was the first song I ever heard by him and it sticks with me after listening to it. The second song was Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow but I always favored this one.
This song reflects Zappa’s typical satirical style, poking fun at religion and society. I could only guess how many people were offended by this one. His songs still feel vibrant and new.
It was on the album Joe’s Garage which was released in two parts. “Act I” came out in September 1979, while “Acts II & III” followed in November 1979. The entire album was later released as a triple LP. He came up with the idea for Joe’s Garage as a satire on the music industry, government censorship, and society in general.
The album was about Joe, a young guitarist who started a garage band. The band gains popularity, but Joe soon faces disillusionment with the music industry. He gets involved with a groupie named Lucille, contracts a venereal disease, and ends up in trouble with the law.
I thought just maybe this would have been released as a single. Hell, he released the song Bobby Brown but not this one.
One thing the man didn’t get as much credit for as he deserved…his guitar playing was phenomenal.
Catholic Girls
Catholic Girls With a tiny little mustache Catholic Girls Do you know how they go? Catholic Girls In the Rectory Basement Father Riley’s a fairy But it don’t bother Mary
Catholic Girls At the CYO Catholic Girls Do you know how they go? Catholic Girls There can be no replacement How do they go, after the show?
All the way (That’s right, all the way!) That’s the way they go Every day (That’s right!) And none of their mamas ever seem to know Hip-Hip-Hooray For all the class they show There’s nothing like a Catholic Girl At the CYO When they learn to blow
They’re learning to blow All the Catholic Boys! Warren Cuccurullo Catholic Boys! Kinda young, kinda WOW! Catholic Boys! Vinnie Colaiuta . . .
Where are they now? Did they all take The Vow?
Catholic Girls! Carmenita Scarfone! Catholic Girls! Hey! She gave me VD! Catholic Girls! Toni Carbone!
With a tongue like a cow She could make you go WOW!
VD Vowdy vootie Right away That’s the way they go Every day Whenever their mamas take them to a show Matinee Pass the popcorn please There’s nothing like a Catholic Girl With her hand in the box When she’s on her knees
She was on her knees My little Catholic Girl Chorus: In a little white dress Catholic Girls They never confess Catholic Girls I got one for a cousin I love how they go So send me a dozen Catholic Girls OOOOOOH! (Well well now) Catholic Girls (Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum) Yai-ee-ahhh! Catholic Girls OOOOOOH! (Well well now) Catholic Girls (Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum) Yai-ee-ahhh!
Joe had a girl friend named Mary. They would meet each other at the Social Club. Hold hands And think Pure Thoughts But one night, at the Social Club meeting…
I’ve heard Captain Beefheart off and on through the years. To put it lightly…he was different.
Captain Beefheart was born Don Van Vliet and was a prodigy sculptor in his childhood. I first heard about him from a Beatles book…as I did with a lot of the artists I know. John and Paul were fans of his albums Trout Mask Replica and Safe As Milk.
This is one of Captain Beefheart’s most conventional and accessible songs and it has a nasty sound to it that I like. It has a great blues feel to it. Like Frank Zappa…he wasn’t for everyone. Speaking of Frank Zappa, he grew up with Vliet in California and they hung out as teenagers. Both of them bring something different to the table.
I would like to explore more of his music in the future. His music can be very abstract as he will switch tempos and experiment. I go in knowing I’m not going to be hearing many radio-friendly songs and I found a lot of songs that I like. I’ve been listening to Captain Beefheart closely for a few weeks now… I like a lot of what I’m hearing. He took chances like no one else.
This song was released as a promotional single back in 1966 with the B side as “Who Do You Think You’re Fooling.” Diddy Wah Diddy was written by Willie Dixon and Bo Diddley. Bo Diddley released this song in 1956.
There are two stories about how he got his name – the one he gave to David Letterman was that he chose it because he had a “beef in his heart” about how humanity was ruining the environment.
The second was in one of Frank Zappa’s biographies. “His girlfriend, Laurie, lived in the house with him, along with his Mom (Sue), his Dad (Glen), Aunt Ione and Uncle Alan… The way Don got his ‘stage name’ was, Uncle Alan had a habit of exposing himself to Laurie. He’d piss with the bathroom door open, and if she was walking by, mumble about his appendage – something along the lines of: ‘Ahh, what a beauty! It looks just like a big, fine beef heart.”
I have more to come from Captain Beefheart. I want to dip into some of his non-conventional songs.
The B-Side Who Do You Think You’re Fooling
Diddy Wah Diddy
I gotta gal down in Diddy Wah Diddy
(Diddy Wah)
Ain’t no town an it ain’t no city
(Diddy Wah)
She loves her man, just is a pity
Crazy ’bout my gal in Diddy Wah Diddy
(Diddy Wah)
This little girl is sweet as she could be
(Diddy Wah)
I know she’s in love with me
(Diddy Wah)
A lovely face, she’s so pretty
(Diddy Wah)
But she’s still way down in Diddy Wah Diddy
Ain’t no town, an it ain’t no city
But oh, how they love in Diddy Wah Diddy)
(Diddy Wah)
(Diddy Wah)
(Diddy Wah)
(Diddy Wah)
She kissed me all the time
(Diddy Wah)
She gonna turn me outta my mind
(Diddy Wah)
Anything, she says she’s ready
(Diddy Wah)
Run right back to Diddy Wah Diddy
(Diddy Wah)
(Diddy Wah)
(Diddy Wah)
(Diddy Wah)
Ain’t no town, ain’t no city
Lord, how they love in Diddy Wah Diddy)
The post starts with John Denver and ends with Frank Zappa and Dee Snider from Twisted Sister…
John Denver’s reputation went down after the 70s and really unfairly. He was noted as square and sometimes rejected by his musical peers. That is sad to me because he was a great songwriter, guitarist, and singer. He didn’t get much street cred until…you will see at the bottom.
During the “We Are The World” filming featuring dozens of pop stars, Willie Nelson cracked, “If a bomb hit this building, John Denver would be No. 1 again.” Everybody laughed – and sneered. And the image of Michael Jackson, Kenny Rogers and others mocking Denver is a sad one. It showed just how low he’d fallen on the barometer of pop music.
Denver was an easy target for critics and peers. Robert Christgau dubbed him “the blandest pop singer in history,” and compared him to James Taylor… “If James is a wimp, John is a simp, and that’s even worse.” I don’t think all the criticism was fair. Some of his music was really good to great like Rocky Mountain High, Sunshine on My Shoulders, and Take Me Home Country Roads.
Denver was a huge star in the early to mid-seventies. I’m not a huge fan by any means but he did have a few songs I liked. He was a songwriter, musician, activist, and actor, and he sold millions of records (over 33 million). He was never known to be cool or hip but he was John Denver and he did things his way.
9/23/1971, NOV 8 1971 Dies of Cancer – Mrs. Lyn Helton, 20 the mother who tape-recorded her thoughts on death as cancer was taking her life, died Sunday at Denver’s Children’s Hospital. Credit: Denver Post (Denver Post via Getty Images)
Denver wrote this song in Minnesota on a rainy spring day. It first appeared on John Denver’s 1971 album Poems, Prayers & Promises. This song got a big boost when it was used in a November 1973 made-for-TV movie called Sunshine, a tale about a woman dying of cancer who recorded tape messages for her child in her final days. It was based on a true story of Lyn Helton who would listen to John Denver’s music.
The song peaked at #1 on the Billboard 100 and #1 in Canada in 1973. It was included in his Greatest Hits album that year.
The PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center) was a group founded by Tipper Gore that was designed to provide censorship and/or warning of offensive material in regard to music albums that had things that parents would find offensive such as profanity, obscene images, lyrics, descriptions of sexual and/or violent matters, etc.
In 1985, several hearings were held to discuss the possibility of certain albums being required to have a ‘Parental Advisory’ sticker placed on the cover. Many musicians were understandably against this action, and some of those musicians were even invited to come and speak their minds about this issue. Three stand out in particular. Dee Snider of Twisted Sister, Frank Zappa, and maybe most notably, John Denver.
Frank and Dee spoke out against it of course and they were afraid of John Denver being in favor of it…and Congress was counting on it. Well, that didn’t happen. John gave arguably the sharpest testimony out of anyone who testified. He was eloquent and blunt. The looks on the faces of Congress say it all. Inviting John Denver to testify backfired for Congress.
John Denver on the TV Movie: “It was the true story of Lyn Helton, an incredibly courageous lady who chose to live her short life to the fullest even though she knew she would die of a rare bone cancer in a matter of months. It seems that in the last year of her life she found some happiness in my music. I was most honored to have my songs used as part of that television show.”
John Denver: “On one level it was about the virtues of love. On another, more deeply felt level, it reached for something the whole world could embrace.”
Dee Snider of Twisted Sister talks about John Denver. It should start at the place Dee talks about Frank and John.
Sunshine On My Shoulders
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry Sunshine on the water looks so lovely Sunshine almost always makes me high
If I had a day that I could give you I’d give to you a day just like today If I had a song that I could sing for you I’d sing a song to make you feel this way
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry Sunshine on the water looks so lovely Sunshine almost always makes me high
If I had a tale that I could tell you I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile If I had a wish that I could wish for you I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry Sunshine on the water looks so lovely Sunshine almost always makes me high Sunshine almost all the time makes me high Sunshine almost always
I first heard about Elmore James from a Rolling Stones book…Brian Jones was a huge fan of the blues artist. The song also helped bring Keith Richards, Mick Jagger, and Brian Jones together to form the Stones.
On November 23, 1936, Robert Johnson was in San Antonio Texas for his debut recordings. The first song he did was “Kind Hearted Woman Blues” in two versions, his second song was “I Believe I’ll Dust My Broom” and his third was “Sweet Home Chicago.” Johnson is usually credited with writing all three songs. Elements of this song can be traced back to several other blues songs. In 1934 Kokomo Arnold was in the studio in Chicago. He recorded Sagefield Woman Blues at a session, which contains maybe the first mention of the phrase “Dust My Broom” in the lyrics.
Elmore recorded and released his version in 1951. On the single, the song was credited to Elmo James. The song peaked at #9 in the R&B Charts in 1952. Elmore James’s version is probably the most popular version of the song. James’ “Dust My Broom” was inducted into the Blues Foundation Blues Hall of Fame in 1983… it was stated that it received more votes than any other record in the first year of balloting for singles.
Artists who have covered this song include Johnny Winter, Derek Trucks, ZZ Top, Ike and Tina Turner, Robert Jr. Lockwood, John Littlejohn, Hound Dog Taylor, Homesick James and Frank Zappa.
Bill Wyman (bass player for the Rolling Stones): “The very first time Brian heard it, he played Elmore James’ ‘Dust My Broom.’ And Brain said the earth shattered and seemed to go off its axis, it was such an important moment in his life. He just went away and just tried to learn to play like Elmore James. And he sat in with the band, the Alexis Korner band, and played ‘Dust My Broom.’
By pure chance, that day Mick and Keith and a couple of their mates who’d been trying to put a band together in Dartford – unsuccessfully – went to see the Alexis Korner show as well, after reading about it in the music press. And they saw Brian Jones sitting onstage, this little white cat, sitting onstage and doing Elmore James, and it blew them away! So that was the Stones. Elmore James was a very, very important part, and if that hadn’t happened – that moment – maybe the Rolling Stones wouldn’t be here.”
Derek Trucks: “You can remember almost every Elmore James solo by heart because he was playing songs. Nothing’s wasted. Nothing’s throwaway. It doesn’t feel like somebody’s practicing in front of you, or running scales; these are melodies that are pouring out, and those are the players that I listen to. They move me.
Dust My Broom
I’m gettin’ up soon in the mornin’ I believe I’ll dust my broom I’m gettin’ up soon in the mornin’ I believe I’ll dust my broom Out with the best gal I’m lovin’ Now my friends can get in my room
I’m gonna write a letter, telephone every town I know I’m gonna write a letter, telephone every town I know If I don’t find her in Mississippi She be in East Monroe I know
And I don’t want no woman Want every downtown man she meets No I don’t want no woman Want every downtown man she meets Man, she’s a no good doney They shouldn’t allow her on the street, yeah
I believe, I believe my time ain’t long I believe, I believe my time ain’t long I ain’t gonna leave my baby And break up my happy home
Frank didn’t get played on commercial radio often. This is one of the few tracks that did get some airplay. The album peaked at #27 in the Billboard 100 in 1979.
I’m not familiar with a lot of Zappa’s catalog. The first song I remember liking by him was Catholic Girls off of this album. A friend of mine heavily into Zappa played me this concept album. The triple album came out as a double album and then a single album.
It’s pretty easy to see why it didn’t get radio play as the lyrics were full of profanity. The music is great… Zappa was one of the best guitarists around as well as a great all-around musician and songwriter.
From Songfacts about the album.
Running to 6 minutes 10 seconds, the title track of this triple concept album was obviously written from the heart, even though it is one of the few such songs which does not resort to out and out profanity. The song itself is fairly straightforward, but the uptempo music is both entertaining and witty. At the end, Joe is arrested for the crime of playing music. Zappa never got much airplay, but the few stations that played him often had this song in rotation.
Joe’s Garage is a popular name for real garages, though it remains to be seen if this is out of homage to Zappa or due to a lot of mechanics being Christened Joe!
In the liner notes to the album, Zappa makes a barely-passing reference to music being censored in Iran, which led some folks to believe the song was inspired by the Iran Hostage Crisis, but the American hostages weren’t taken until months after the album was released.
Zappa was an extremely outspoken enemy of religion, government, commercialism, and just about anything else, so this song and album are right in character. Joe’s Garage has parodies of a broad range of subjects – there’s “L. Ron Hoover” and the “First Church of Appliantology,” the Roman Catholic and Christian churches, lots of references to kinky sex (he also mocked that a lot), the “Central Scrutinizer” is kind of like Orwell’s Big Brother – referencing government censorship, making fun of “dope and LSD” and snorting lines of detergent, the music industry in general… you get the picture.
The ban-on-music thing in the story stems from the government’s “Total Criminalization” policy, where this new philosophy passes the legislation that states that “all humans are inherently criminals” and it’s the government’s job to keep making up laws to give them an excuse to throw everybody in jail.
Bottom line: You can’t narrow the theme of the album down to one thing. If anything, it was more Zappa’s general mockery of the whole capitalist-industrial military-religion complex, and mentioning Iran was just his way of saying “Look what could happen here! It happened there, after all.” Seeing as how this came out before the PMRC targeted Zappa for obscenity in lyrics which led to parental advisory stickers on the album, that kind of makes him a prophet.
Joe’s Garage
A boring old garage in a residential area with a teen-age band rehearsing in it. JOE (the main character in the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER’S Special Presentation) sings to us of the trials and tribulations of garage-band husbandry.
Central Scrutinizer: We take you now, to a garage, in Canoga Park.
Frank Zappa: (It makes it’s own sauce…)
Joe: It wasn’t very large There was just enough room to cram the drums In the corner over by the Dodge It was a fifty-four With a mashed up door And a cheesy little amp With a sign on the front said “Fender Champ” And a second hand guitar It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar
At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O) joins in the song…
Larry: We could jam in Joe’s Garage His mama was screamin’ His dad was mad We was playin’ the same old song In the afternoon ‘n’ sometimes we would Play it all night long It was all we knew, ‘n’ easy too So we wouldn’t get it wrong All we did was bend the string like… Hey! Down in Joe’s Garage We didn’t have no dope or LSD But a coupla quartsa beer Would fix it so the intonation Would not offend yer ear And the same old chords goin’ over ‘n’ over Became a symphony We would play it again ‘n’ again ‘n’ again ‘Cause it sounded good to me ONE MORE TIME! We could jam in Joe’s Garage His mama was screamin’, “TURN IT DOWN!” We was playing’ the same old song In the afternoon ‘n’ sometimes we would Play it all night long It was all we knew, and easy too So we wouldn’t get it wrong Even if you played it on a saxophone We thought we was pretty good We talked about keepin’ the band together ‘N’ we figured that we should ‘Cause about this time we was gettin’ the eye From the girls in the neighborhood They’d all come over ‘n’ dance around like…
Twenty teen-age girls dash in and go STOMP-CLAP, STOMP-CLAP-CLAP…
So we picked out a stupid name Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks ‘N’ we was on our way to fame Got matching suits ‘N’ Beatle Boots ‘N’ a sign on the back of the car ‘N’ we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar
ONE TWO THREE FOUR LET’S SEE IF YOU GOT SOME MORE!
People seemed to like our song They got up ‘n’ danced ‘n’ made a lotta noise An’ it wasn’t ‘fore very long A guy from a company we can’t name Said we oughta take his pen ‘N’ sign on the line for a real good time But he didn’t tell us when These “good times” would be somethin’ That was really happenin’ So the band broke up An’ it looks like We will never play again…
Joe: Guess you only get one chance in life To play a song that goes like…
(And, as the band plays their little song, MRS. BORG (who keeps her son SY, in the closet with the vacuum cleaner) screams out the window…
Mrs. Borg: Turn it down! Turn it DOWN! I have children sleeping here… Don’t you boys know any nice songs?
Joe: (Speculating on the future) Well the years was rollin’ by, yeah Heavy Metal ‘n’ Glitter Rock Had caught the public eye, yeah Snotty boys with lipstick on Was really flyin’ high, yeah ‘N’ then they got that Disco thing ‘N’ New Wave came along ‘N’ all of a sudden I thought the time Had come for that old song We used to play in “Joe’s Garage” And if I am not wrong You will soon be dancin’ to…
Central Scrutinizer: The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. If you gotta load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You’ll love it…
Joe: Well the years was rollin’ by (etc.)…
Mrs. Borg: I’m calling THE POLICE! I did it! They’ll be here… shortly!
Officer Butzis: This is the Police…
Mrs. Borg: I’m not joking around anymore
Officer Butzis: We have the garage surrounded If you give yourself up We will not harm you Or hurt you neither
Mrs. Borg: You’ll see them
Officer Butzis: This is the Police
Mrs. Borg: There they are, they’re coming!
Officer Butzis: Give yourself up We will not harm you
Mrs. Borg: Listen to that mess, would you?
Officer Butzis: This is the Police Give yourself up We have the garage surrounded
Mrs. Borg: Everday this goes on around here!
Officer Butzis: We will not harm you, or maim you (SWAT Team 4, move in!)
Mrs. Borg: He used cut my grass… He was very nice boy… That’s DISGUSTING!
Central Scrutinizer: This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER… That was Joe’s first confrontation with The Law. Naturally, we were easy on him. One of our friendly counselors gave him A do-nut… and told him to Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.
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