Frank Zappa – Catholic Girls

I grew up listening to Zappa on the American Top 40 show with Casey Kasem. Uh…scratch that. No, I only heard Zappa when I was over at a friend’s house with an older brother’s record collection. This was the first song I ever heard by him and it sticks with me after listening to it. The second song was Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow but I always favored this one.

This song reflects Zappa’s typical satirical style, poking fun at religion and society. I could only guess how many people were offended by this one. His songs still feel vibrant and new.

It was on the album Joe’s Garage which was released in two parts. “Act I” came out in September 1979, while “Acts II & III” followed in November 1979. The entire album was later released as a triple LP. He came up with the idea for Joe’s Garage as a satire on the music industry, government censorship, and society in general.

The album was about Joe, a young guitarist who started a garage band. The band gains popularity, but Joe soon faces disillusionment with the music industry. He gets involved with a groupie named Lucille, contracts a venereal disease, and ends up in trouble with the law.

I thought just maybe this would have been released as a single. Hell, he released the song Bobby Brown but not this one.

One thing the man didn’t get as much credit for as he deserved…his guitar playing was phenomenal.

Catholic Girls

Catholic GirlsWith a tiny little mustacheCatholic GirlsDo you know how they go?Catholic GirlsIn the Rectory BasementFather Riley’s a fairyBut it don’t bother Mary

Catholic GirlsAt the CYOCatholic GirlsDo you know how they go?Catholic GirlsThere can be no replacementHow do they go, after the show?

All the way(That’s right, all the way!)That’s the way they goEvery day(That’s right!)And none of their mamas ever seem to knowHip-Hip-HoorayFor all the class they showThere’s nothing like a Catholic GirlAt the CYOWhen they learn to blow

They’re learning to blowAll the Catholic Boys!Warren CuccurulloCatholic Boys!Kinda young, kinda WOW!Catholic Boys!Vinnie Colaiuta . . .

Where are they now?Did they all take The Vow?

Catholic Girls!Carmenita Scarfone!Catholic Girls!Hey! She gave me VD!Catholic Girls!Toni Carbone!

With a tongue like a cowShe could make you go WOW!

VD Vowdy vootieRight awayThat’s the way they goEvery dayWhenever their mamas take them to a showMatineePass the popcorn pleaseThere’s nothing like a Catholic GirlWith her hand in the boxWhen she’s on her knees

She was on her kneesMy little Catholic GirlChorus:In a little white dressCatholic GirlsThey never confessCatholic GirlsI got one for a cousinI love how they goSo send me a dozenCatholic GirlsOOOOOOH!(Well well now)Catholic Girls(Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum)Yai-ee-ahhh!Catholic GirlsOOOOOOH!(Well well now)Catholic Girls(Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum)Yai-ee-ahhh!

Joe had a girl friend named Mary.They would meet each other at the Social Club.Hold handsAnd think Pure ThoughtsBut one night, at the Social Club meeting…

…

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Author: Badfinger (Max)

Power Pop fan, Baseball, Beatles, Alternative music, old movies, and tv show fan. Also anything to do with pop culture in the 60s and 70s... I'm also a songwriter, bass and guitar player. Not the slightest bit interested in politics at all.

55 thoughts on “Frank Zappa – Catholic Girls”

  1. Certainly one of the greatest satirical songwriters and as you say quite a brilliant guitarist. This song has some very unique sounding qualities, do you know how he did the music?

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      4. This song isn’t a good examples. He blew me away when I saw live clips from him playing. His son is pretty good himself as well.

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  3. The song ‘Joe’s Garage’ is one of my favorites by him. This one I didn’t know. Probably not going to see it on one of John’s top 10 lists if he ever looks at Vatican Radio! But, yes, Casey did play Frank…maybe 4 times. ‘Valley Girl’ squeaked into the top 40 in ’82.

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    1. Oh that is right! His daughter did that… I do like Joe’s Garage as well. This is the first song I heard by him…and it’s very catchy….it will stick with you.

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      7. I’m glad you pointed it out…Frank in a trio would be hard to resist…he had the chops for it…and more.

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      9. His sense of humor gets me…I love it. I’m not a catholic but I’m a christian…but this doesn’t bother me at all…it’s a satirical look…that is what satire is!
        His musicianship is what really wins me over.

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  5. Back in 1966, our drummer discovered Zappa. The rest of the band attempted an intervention at the request of his mother, but he refused to abandon the church of Zappizm. He tossed all his brown shoes and tried to grow the little fuzzy thing that Zappa wore under his bottom lip, he didn’t have enough face fuzz. This went on about a year, and thankfully he discovered Ravi Shankar and wound up playing a sitar. I kinda dug Zappa, but only late at night, when no one was around.

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    1. Yea I have to be in a mood but sometimes I like a dip into the bizarre.
      Now that is a switch! From Zappa to Shankar.

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  6. I knew about Zappa in high school as some friends were into him and of course the Vai connection down the world. I still remembering laughing my ass off when I went to see Motley Crue back in 1990 and there intro music was Crew Slut by Frank.

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  7. NOT the guy to play a concert at the church hall, that’s for sure. He could be a sly dog, seemingly random and unstructured, yet this has touches of old Como style crooners dropped in and that’s no accident. Amazing this passed the censors too. ‘Overnite Sensation’ is the album I remember most. Zappa, he was one crazy Frank.

    …I wonder what happened with Joe and Mary?

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    1. That is the phrase I would have liked to have when writing it…”Como Style Crooners.” Perfect description.
      3 Hail Marys and Joe and Mary were free to go on with life! I guess that was ugly for me to say that.

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      2. Yes… you told me about it a while back. I haven’t or will ever forget it! Of course I loved it and will give it another listen tonight!
        I’ve never been Catholic in my life so I joke but I know nothing about them.

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  8. We talked about Frank Zappa before. I don’t doubt for a minute he was pretty talented and also a decent guitarist. I also get he liked to make fun of many things. That said, much of what I’ve heard is way over the top for me. I guess my tolerance level also depends on my mood. If I’m in a silly mood, I’m probably more receptive. In fact, I recall listening to some of his over the top songs and laughing. It’s just not for everyday use! 🙂

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    1. It’s a mood thing…just like with progressive rock…which is what it is when you break it down. I have to be in a mood for him and Captain Beefheart.

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  9. When I was growing up we had an annual block picnic – closed the street for food and games, softball in my backyard, a talent show. Since there was a PA, folks would play records. I will never forget the summer of ’66. A neighbor had just gotten the new Mothers of Invention album “Freak Out”. Nothing like “Who Are the Brain Police?” to liven up a neighborhood gathering.

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      1. He has some cool guitar instrumentals – lots of people love ‘Watermelon in Easter Hay’. I’m partial to ‘Sexual Harassment in the Workplace’, even though I was once a victim.

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      4. I was working for a judge….a court judge feeding his race horses when I was 17-18…his wife was around 35 and she shadowed me and took a great interest in where I was…invited me in when he was gone. Nothing happened because I was too stupid and naive to know what was going on….she kept patting me on my legs as I sat…I would get out as soon as I could. All I could think about was….”He is a judge” and this don’t feel right.

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