Groucho had the best one-liners than just about anyone else.
“Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member”
“I was married by a judge… I should have asked for a jury”
“A man’s only as old as the woman he feels”
“As soon as I get through with you, you’ll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife
“I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife”
“Women should be obscene not heard”
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce”
“Marriage is a wonderful institution but who wants to live in an institution?”
“Those are my principles If you don’t like them I have more”
“You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it ”
“Who are you going to believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?”
“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse”
“Remember men, you are fighting for this lady’s honor; which is probably more than she ever did”
“Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I’ll never know”
“I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty”
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A brilliant wit! Only person I can think of that is close in number of great one-liners is Oscar Wilde.
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Yes you are right…I should do one on him…
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Haven’t seen enough of the movies…but man, he had a gift for hilarious soundbites
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One of the greats! Many said his “ad-libs” on You Bet Your Life were scripted, and if they were, he certainly made them seem like they were ad-libs!
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One of my comedy heros…along with Harpo, Buster Keaton, and Chaplin.
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Keaton was a master! Chaplin’s Great Dictator remains one of the most underrated performances in film history. Harpo – Amazing! The Marx Brother’s films are some of my favorites!!
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I like all of the Paramount Marx Brothers a lot. Today people don’t know what they are missing.
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I think that’s why I love old comedies so much – they were smart. Think about the Abbott and Costello bit Who’s on First? – perfectly written. The Marx Brothers stuff was also well written. Word Play like “sanity clause” is still funny!
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“If I was standing any closer I would be in back of you”…. Classic lines. I haven’t watched Abbott Costello in a long time…I must do that.
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Almost all of my favorite comedies were released before I was born. I was born in 1953.
Do you know the work of Preston Sturges? Very, very, VERY funny stuff. He was behind the camera, but movies like The Great McGinty, Sullivan’s Travels and Miracle of Morgan’s Creek get watched every time I see them on the tv schedule.
For me, Easter belongs to Harvey. So many great quotes there.
And then, on an unrelated theme, there is Raymond Chandler. He was pretty funny. I quote Bogart in The Big Sleep, where the screen author (some hack named William Faulkner) lifts directly from Chandler’s original book: “I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings.”
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