Blue Rodeo – Til I Am Myself Again ….Power Pop Friday

Happy Friday to you all! Today and Saturday I will be out of town but I will keep checking when I can.

This song could fit into different categories…country, country-rock, and power pop. It has a touch of the Byrds in this because of the 12-string Rickenbacker sound. Its melody is the reason that I like this one so much. This one (and a Sloan song) was going to go in Canadian Week but I ran out of days.

Blue Rodeo is a Canadian country rock band formed in 1984 in Toronto. Jim Cuddy and Greg Keelor, have been friends since high school, having both attended North Toronto Collegiate Institute.

Their record company did try to break into America because they hired Danny Goldberg as their US manager. Danny Goldberg was involved in some giant bands. He got his start in the 1970s with Led Zeppelin and later on, went to The Allman Brothers and then to Nirvana. Unfortunately, Goldberg left after the Casino album was released. He didn’t end up having much to do with the band according to Jim Cuddy.

This song was on their album Casino and it was released in 1990. The song peaked at #3 in Canada, #1 in the Canadian Country Charts, and #2 in the Canadian Adult Contemporary Charts. The song was on the Casino album released in 1991. The album peaked at #6 in Canada. The song was written by Jim Cuddy and Greg Keelor. Cuddy and Keelor are the two main singer/songwriters in the band.

They got Pete Anderson to produce the album. Anderson produced Dwight Yoakam, Roy Orbison, Jackson Browne, Buck Owens, K.D. Lang, and Lucinda Williams. He took the approach to Blue Rodeo as if they were recording 10 singles. He said their songs were entirely too long at that point and the band worked to tidy the songs up to under 4 minutes as you can see in the quote below.

Pete Anderson: “They loved to jam, but the songs were way too long. They were ahead of bands like Phish and The String Cheese Incident. They were not a jam band per say, but they were on the front-end of that jam-band world. Those bands are not on the radio. A programmer looks at the back of the record and sees songs that are over four minutes and they will not play those songs unless it is hippy radio. We were going for a three-minute and 20-second consciousness for this record.

Jim Cuddy: “That was a very tumultuous time. Our manager [Danny Goldberg] quit right when we had finished recording; he really never had anything to do with us. That was a lesson learned. We did not make that record to break into the U.S. market or cater it for radio. That idea was imposed on us. We thought all our records would be accessible in the States. We made Casino based on records we liked such as Dwight Yoakam’s Guitars, Cadillacs, Etc. Etc. That was a guy Anderson worked with. We wanted to sound like that sonically and artistically. Pete came up before we went to L.A., made extensive notes, and shared them with us. We did some demos on an eight-track machine in our studio on Sorauren Avenue. Those demos are interesting to go back and listen to now. For example, ‘What Am I Doing Here.’ I remember Pete cut out one of the bridges in that song. I thought that was a great suggestion. We never were good with self-editing.

Bass Player Bazil Donovan: “That’s one of Jim (Cuddy’s) songs that came out of the time when we first toured the States and we were gone so long, that we became disconnected with reality. We spent so much time on a bus, in a plane or going to a gig somewhere, and we were new to all of that. It took its toll on us, we weren’t taking care of ourselves and we were probably drinking too much, and on the long road depression sets in. The song captures that, about how you can lose your spirit. We had spent like a whole year on the road. It’s funny how a dark experience can result in a great song. People dance to it like it’s a happy rocker, but the lyrics remind me of that dark time.”

Bazil Donovan:  “Pete had a concept. I remember one night we went to eat at El Pollo Loco and he said to us, ‘I want to make a record with you guys that has 10 singles on it. I don’t want to make stuff that is not going to get played. I don’t care if you have one arty tune that is an album track. My idea is to make hit songs.’ Listen to that record today and you can hear that. They are all three-minute pop-rock hits, which Pete was very good at. Some of our biggest songs came out of that record. I learned a lot from him. Before that, I didn’t know a lot about arranging. After I watched Pete work with arrangements it opened up the door for me and I thought about arranging myself. A lot of the stuff I learned there I have applied to stuff I’ve done since.”

Til I Am Myself Again

I want to know where
my confidence went
one day it all disappeared
and I’m lying in a hotel room
miles away
voices next door in my ear

Daytime’s a drag
nighttime’s worse
hope that I can get home soon
but the half-finished bottles of inspiration
lie like ghosts in my room

I wanna go
I know I can’t stay
but I don’t want to run
feeling this way
til I am myself
til I am myself
til I am myself again
There’s a seat on the corner
I keep every night
wait til the evening begins
I feel like a stranger
from another world
but at least I’m living again

There are nights
full of anger
words that are thrown
tempers that are shattered and thin
but the moments of magic
are just too short
they’re over before they begin

I know it’s time
one big step
I can’t go
I’m not ready yet
til I am myself
til I am myself
til I am myself again
I had a dream
that my house was on fire
people laughed while it burned
I tried to run but my legs were numb
I had to wait til the feeling returned

I don’t need a doctor
to figure it out
I know what’s passing me by
when I look in the mirror
sometimes I see
traces of some other guy

I wanna go
I know I can’t stay
but I don’t want to run
feeling this way
til I am myself
til I am myself
til I am myself again

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Author: Badfinger (Max)

Power Pop fan, Baseball, Beatles, Alternative music, old movies, and tv show fan. Also anything to do with pop culture in the 60s and 70s... I'm also a songwriter, bass and guitar player. Not the slightest bit interested in politics at all.

42 thoughts on “Blue Rodeo – Til I Am Myself Again ….Power Pop Friday”

    1. Thank you so much! We are doing something out of character…neither one of us are gamblers but we are going to a Casino for the first time.

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      2. The people watching sounds great. The funny thing is little did we know it’s only 36 miles from our house:.. it’s in Kentucky

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      3. I can see you not knowing it’s there. We have at least two that are within 40-50 miles of us, and you wouldn’t know it. The people who go to them know where they are, but they are almost hidden in plain sight. Ironically, they are sometimes huge places. They book some good musicians, which is why I should pay more attention. Any chance you are going there for a concert, or to play music?

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      4. Oh no music but now I wonder if they will have someone…we came just to have the experience. The only thing I’ll really do is the penny slots…that will keep us busy and not spend much… but there are great places to eat.

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      6. There is a show tonight but it’s crazy high…it’s a Freddie Mercury soundalike…which I wouldn’t mind seeing but…
        The biggest thing that disappointed me….and it’s my fault…I thought there would be real slot machines…no…just video slot machines. Just like old sewing machines and tractors…I think those old slot machines are like works of art.

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      7. That’s a bummer it’s too pricey. I bet it’s a really good show. I too noticed that the mechanical slot machines are all gone. Takes the fun out of it for sure. I hope the food is good anyway.

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      8. The food was good…but unless it’s Vegas…we probably won’t go back but….we had a fantastic time though so it was all good. On the way back home we stopped at a yard sale and I bought a 1972 Schwinn Varsity 10 speed and a Trek 400 10 speed for $75 each. I looked them up on ebay…and yea I did well but we want to ride them…
        That was my best gamble of the weekend!

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  2. One of many great songs from these guys. They just might come up in my series this month! It’s great that you know so much Canadian music, especially these guys who as you reference never made it in the US.

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    1. It amazes me that this song at least didn’t break through since they hired Danny Goldberg…he was really good at getting songs played… so it is surprising because number 1…it’s such a great song.

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  3. A great one! I have seen them play live over a dozen times (I lost track of just how many) and was fortunate enough to meet them a few times in the early years – they’re super nice guys. To me, their first 3 albums were all A+’s but ‘Casino’ might just be the best and certainly was the most accessible, which ironically made it less-loved by them than the first two. It’s a great jumping in point to the band. Why this song didn’t take off in the US still baffles me.

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    1. We are so far…That is cool you got to see them. I’ve checked out some of their other stuff…really good…of course I heard this song from you first…I can’t believe Goldberg couldn’t break them…he was really good.

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      1. Sounds like they were a low priority on his agenda though. I think there was also something to do with the label – in Canada they were on Risque Disque at the time and I think it went bankrupt BUT it was part of Warner so it still had backing from a major label. It worked in Canada, but not Stateside.
        Didn’t think of it but what an appropriate song for the day for you, given your little holiday destination!

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      2. With the backing of Warner you would think it would have worked. Sometimes it’s all about timing as we have seen on some rare occasions…songs are re-released and hit.
        Yes it is lol…we are being lazy right now but we are about to take off. Dave…the coolest thing is….we are only around 36 miles from our house! I had no clue it was this close.

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      3. They are beloved back home. As I’ve said before, my dad wasn’t much into rock or contemporary music but one time , about 12 years back, I was at his place & he was flipping around the channels on TV & came across an interview with Jim & Greg on some news show nd he stopped, said ‘hey, that’s those Blue Rodeo guys. Let’s see what they have to say.’ He may not have even heard one of their records but knew who they were & was I guess proud of them as fellow Canadians and knew they meant a lot to people like me & his friends kids

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      4. That is really cool. Were they near as big as the Tragically Hip? I wouldn’t think so but I am no expert.
        Yea if your Dad knew them and wasn’t a fan of that music…that says alot.

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  4. Music is a creative art, and it should not he held to time constraints, but time is money and money make the records go around, so this group with all their talent never broke into the mainstream.

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  5. They do seem to have listened to Dwight Yoakum and The Byrds. This one didn’t make it under 4 minutes, but I guess a DJ could fade the instrumental outro to keep it in check. Some songs are exactly the right length, whether two minutes or ten. Thanks for introducing them to me.

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  6. A Canadian pen pal sent me a cassette tape of Blue Rodeo music way back when and I listened to it a lot. It’s pleasant and melodious. The two voices harmonizing sound go good together.

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      2. Just got back…oh we lost of course lol. About 120 or so…so we only took so much in and I left the bank card back at the Airbnb…I wasn’t taking any chances lol

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      4. Oh yes…we did but no urge to hurry back unless….it’s Vegas. Lisa as I’ve told other people I’m out of touch. I knew about the video slots…but for some reason I thought there would be a wall of REAL slot machines…I love those things…they are works of art to me. Anyway none at all! You have to go to Vegas and even there only so many places have them.
        We like the area though… we might go out in a few minutes.

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  8. “Casino” coincides with your weekend. Pete Anderson has the touch. Even though not big commercially music like this is solid. Who knows what hits and what doesnt (we’ve talked about this alot Max). If I knew that Id live at the race track and watch the ponies and rake it in.

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    1. I’m such a rube man…to show you how out of touch I can be…I knew there were the video slots of course but for some stupid reason I thought there would be actual slot machines also…nope…no mechanical ones…you have to go to Vegas to do those. Lost around 120 which we made sure that was all we brought…had a good time though.

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  9. A very likeable song. I enjoyed the first minute way more than the rest. That’s the thing that puts a bee in my bonnet is that so many singers and groups try to downplay their excellent verses with an ordinary chorus. This song is an excellent example because the downer chorus at least to my ears pisses me off lol.

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  10. Good song, band etc. But to borrow the gambling thread thats running through the comments, somewhere they got dealt a crap hand. Only thing I can add is on our first trip Stateside we spent a day and night at Sams Town, Vegas. That was before the Killers made the album of that name, but if it was good enough for them… I think they were the house band there at some stage but I’m probably wrong. Anyway, come back with winnings and grinning not deep in the red.

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    1. Well we had a good time…anyway! Obbverse….I was just telling CB…to show how out of touch I can be at times…I knew about the video slots of course but I was thinking they would actually have the regular slot machines…not one there. Those things are like art works to me…but it has gone compeletely digital….but Las Vegas does have some and I want to go there.

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  11. I wasn’t familiar with Blue Rodeo, but they have(had) a great sound and fine musicianship, and it’s a shame they never gained traction in the U.S. The pleasing vibe of this song is a real contrast with the more serious lyrics.

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