I did this last week with the earlier comedians….this week I’ll concentrate on the 60s-70s.
George Carlin
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
Richard Pryor
Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?
I’m not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells
I had to stop drinking, ‘cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers
There’s a thin line between to laugh with and to laugh at
Rodney Dangerfield
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio
My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah. My wife just broke up with her boyfriend
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat
When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother
Marriage. It’s not a word. It’s a sentence
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them
Lenny Bruce
Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God
Alright, let’s admit it, we Jews killed Christ – but it was only for three days
I am influenced by every second of my waking hour
It’s the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness
Bob Newhart
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’
Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright
I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don’t rush into adulthood, it isn’t all that much fun
Phyllis Diller
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best
I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them
Redd Foxx
If you can see the handwriting on the wall… you’re on the toilet
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why
You make me wish that birth control was retroactive
Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
Lily Tomin
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
The road to success is always under construction.
I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Badfinger. Great post. Thanks for a laugh,
Rodney Dangerfield the funniest.
I was riding a bike on the beach of Santa Monica years ago and passed him by walking in his pajamas and robe. I wanted to stop, but the look him gave me was not inviting.
Regards and goodwill blogging.
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That is too bad he didn’t want to talk. I agree… he is the best one liner person in this list.
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those are great! All of them are good but I really liked the Carlin, Newhart and Dangerfield bits. If I’m not mistaken Bob Newhart had the best-selling album one year with a standup routine…surprising but it’s easy to see why he was so beloved.
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With Newhart people still remember the two major shows he was in…but yea he was a great standup before all of that happened.
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then he became popular again to a new generation with his bit parts on The Big Bang Theory and his being Elf’s “dad” in that movie.
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Really funny stuff Max.
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It spells naive!
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That is best one.
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Carlin is my favorite.
You gonna cover the blue collar team?
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I’ll get a few of them… the one I’m anxious to get is Bill HIcks…my favorite…Leary owes him his career lol.
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I forgot about Bill Hicks. Yeah, Denis Leary basically stole his act.
I didn’t know if you were going to cover Eddie Murphy’s stand up.
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Oh yes…his quotes…I had him on here but then I thought…no he was in the 80s…
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I take it you skipped over Bill Cosby on purpose?
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No I didn’t to tell you the truth…I missed him and Woody Allen, Steve Martin, and most of all Andy Kaufman.
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So…do a continuation post.
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Yea I will…now you got me thinking…Woody Allen I don’t mind…but Cosby will draw some ire lol
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So will Woody! They’ve got a doc about to be released (or maybe already has been) on Cosby that looks good. He let a lot of people down, especially where he symbolized a black family living an upper crust lifestyle.
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You are absolutely right. I may list them at the bottom with a note.
Pryor really cut into Cosby and so did Murphy…I guess they may have known about his exploits.
I liked Cosby but the best thing to me was Fat Albert…I was a teenager through the Cosby years…and like most teenagers I wanted something more edgy.
But yea as human beings…they are pretty damn bad.
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Quite possibly but…Allen is just as bad.
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Yea I know… but I don’t like erasing history. Yea I’m more of an Allen fan…wait…more of a fan of HIS films…and standup….but as a human being no.
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Oh and George Burns…he was huge
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Yeah, he was. And, classy.
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My favourite one liner in the whole posting is the first one from Phyllis Diller!
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I liked that one a lot…she was really good with lines.
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It was apparently another era of negative humorists many of which I did not care for.
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Oh my weekly lung clearing. Much appreciated, Max. This made me laugh out loud:
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why” All of these comedians are a cut above average.
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Thanks Lisa…these are the ones I grew up with. I forgot Ruth Buzzi also…I really liked her as a kid.
That is a great one. Glad you enjoyed them.
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Some good ones here! Man, Carlin always made me laugh. The world needs more laughter, so this post and others that follow are so important!
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Yes the world can always use it! Especially now
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Those jokes are all hilarious. Thanks for brightening up my morning Max.
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Thanks Jeff! I have Stephen Wright in the next one…I believe his quotes beats all I’ve heard of the more modern comedians.
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I sneak Rodney into our house just to piss my gal off.
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LOL…it’s amazing he could remember all of those one liners… one of a kind guy.
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Him and Phyllis should have had a kid.
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Dude….that gave me a laugh…a late one but a laugh all the same.
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