This is will be out of the norm for me and may be boring to some people so you may want to click the back button…but after talking to another blogger I wanted to write it down.
When I was a kid my mom would not let me have any pets in the house. She was a great mom but no pets at all inside. I had outside dogs but none inside. I knew when I got older I wanted a dog in my house…Not just any dog but a great big dog…I guess it was my way of rebelling against those earlier rules.
In 2009 I saw a local ad on the internet for a Saint Bernard puppy. It was the first puppy I ever had in my life. We did have one Saint Bernard before this that we got from a rescue when she was 8 months old. She passed in 2008 after 9 wonderful years.
We named this 6-week old puppy Molly and she was the runt of the litter. We took her home and she would not interact with us in the first two days at all.
On that third day…different story. She took off running through my wife’s flower garden and from then on she was ours and we were hers… She had one bad mishap. After a lengthy rain she wanted to go outside and she ran and while running caught her front right leg in a hole…it stretched her tendons…the vet put a cast on her leg for a month but her leg never looked the same but it didn’t stop her from running the rest of her life.
Molly was THE family dog and was one of us. She gave love but she wanted it also… when she thought she was being ignored… out came that giant paw pretty much making you pet her. She never hurt a living animal except for Bees…which she would catch with her mouth and quickly get them out…She didn’t like toys with squeakers because she thought she was hurting something so I had to take the squeakers out of every toy.
She grew very fast like Saints do and Molly was not a runt anymore. She looked after my son like he was her own. My son’s friends would be careful not to play too rough with him or each other…if they did they would get an earful…and Saints bark loud. Scared the hell out of some of them but she was never aggressive…just barked loud at the kids to stop. You could play but no shoving or hitting or she would referee really quick and wanted order.
She had the run of our house and many utility people were scared to come in but some braved it and were rewarded with a new friend. It was rare but once in a while, I would wake up with a snoring Molly beside my wife and me in bed. She would lay in the busiest part of the house so you would have no other choice but walk over her.
Last Thursday night my son and I went to dinner and came home to a happy Molly…she was happy because we were all at home safe and sound. She didn’t like when one of us was missing. She was demanding our attention that night and she got it.
The next morning she was breathing heavy and something seemed wrong. She would drink but would not eat. It just kept getting worse over the weekend.
I took off of work Monday to take her to the vet. She had been so lethargic that I thought we would have to get a mobile vet. To my surprise I said the magic words “car ride” and she came to life and followed me to the car…She got in the car and off we went. That was the best she looked in 3 days. We took her in and the vet said she was in poor shape but he wanted to do X-Rays and blood work. After that, he told me to go home and he would call. I foolishly let a little hope creep in.
The call came at 1:30 that Molly had cancer all over and failing kidneys. I don’t like playing God but he said that Molly had put on a brave face for us that morning and showed me the X-Rays and I knew we had to make THAT decision. He said it was a miracle she was walking around at all and she was in extreme pain. We waited for my son to get home at 3 and we traveled to the vet all together to say our goodbyes to our beloved Molly.
It was horrible to see my son hurt so bad and it wasn’t a damn thing I could do. We all hurt but we tried to make the ending happy for Molly. It will be a little while before we get another dog…but when we do we won’t be replacing Molly…it will be to add a new member to our family…Molly will always have her place.
My son will never forget his companion of nine years for the rest of his life…and neither will we.
My 9-year-old son and Molly at 6 weeks old…the day we got her in 2009
My 18-year-old son with Molly at 9 years old sitting close to him.
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Oh man, I feel for you. I’m glad you did this. You’re not alone out here in cyberspace.
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Thank you. Talking to you made me do it. It does help to write it out and I appreciate it.
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What a touching and candid post. Reminds me of my two Great Pyrenees I had growing up. Take care and remember the stellar times you had with Molly!
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Thank you so much. It felt good just getting it out.
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Certainly. I wish you the best in the upcoming days/weeks. Talking and spending time with good people and music helps me tremendously when I’m dealt with a difficult situation.
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Thanks I really appreciate it.
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Oh no, I’m so sorry for all of you. There’s nothing that makes it less painful. She was beautiful.
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Thank you. It felt odd sharing it like this but it helped.
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All pet lovers (and there are a LOT of us) know why it was right to share it. Her pictures are really sweet.
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Thank you so much. Yes she was…she was the happiest most loving dog we ever had. They become part of you.
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They do. It’s a huge empty spot when they are gone.
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We were eating pizza last night and I saved a small piece of crust for her and then realized.
It is an empty spot. You don’t realize how big of a part they are in your life until its over.
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I’ve done that very thing; even many months later. Not sure the void ever completely goes away. There’s also what I call the ‘ghost dog syndrome’ for awhile, when it feels like she is still in the house, which can be a nice feeling.
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Yes…wow glad someone else feels that way. I had that ghost dog feeling with our last one for a while after it happened in 2008.
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I am sorry to hear of your and your families loss- I am sure she will never be able to be replaced.
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Thank you so much.
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Poor Molly! And I’m sorry for your family too. Hopefully you can take comfort in the memories of her and in knowing you gave her a good doggy life she lived well! I’m not a “dog” person but we ended up housesitting a black lab for 2 years (!) and she really became a part of the family and oddly enough I became her favorite person . I sure missed the daily walks with her and seeing her in the back yard when she was finally returned to her “owner” who returned. When the time is right, I hope you find another pup to give a home to and make some new memories, but for now- look back fondly
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That is a long house sitting!
Thank you for the kind words. It’s very odd now being at home without her.
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just now getting a chance to read this. she was a gentle giant. reading about how you had to take the squeakers out of the toys and how she kept an eye on the kids playing is so touching. she’s still with you and will be for awhile, thankfully.
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Thank you. We are talking about her tonight. I kinda feel her presence and that is a nice feeling.
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Ohhh…So sorry. It’s so hard to put down a dear friend like Molly. I’ve had to do it many times as I have had, at least, a dog and a cat all of my 53 years. It is an act of love. She was a beautiful dog. Saint Bernard’s are wonderful, aren’t they? So kind, yet fiercely protective. She lived a long time for such a big dog. You obviously took good care of her.
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Thank you. We love Saint Bernards. She was our second. They have such great personalities. She looked after our son Bailey like a mom.
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